


A Kiss to Build A Dream

by cillasstuff



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Big Bang Challenge, Bottom Jensen, First Time, M/M, Top Jared Padalecki, dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:59:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cillasstuff/pseuds/cillasstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared loved Jensen, but Jensen didn’t feel the same, and worse he was straight with no idea of Jared’s feelings. Even after Jared had foolishly asked Jensen to become his roommate, he had accepted the fact that Jensen would never be anything other than his friend. That is until Jensen made a drunken statement that burrowed under Jared’s skin compelling him to make an offer that could possibly ruin their friendship forever or give him the love of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kiss to Build A Dream

A Kiss to Build a Dream

Chapter 1  
Jared knew that Jensen was straight, but that did not stop him from wanting him.  
Wanting to kiss his freckles to see where and if they ended.  
Wanting to kiss those plump red lips; soothe the bottom one Jensen chewed on when he was worried.  
Wanting to see those same lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him all the way down.  
Wanting to see those green eyes lust blown black with want, with need, for him.  
Wanting, no aching, to be buried balls deep inside him.  
Wanting to touch him just because he could.  
Wanting Jensen to love him, to need him, as much as Jared wanted and needed him.  
Wanting Jensen to see him as a partner, a lover, as more than a friend.  
Wanting Jensen to be his; wanting to be Jensen’s.  
Yeah, Jared knew Jensen was straight.

Knowing it and living with it, however, were two different things. Jared walked around in a constant state of arousal because of Jensen, who had no clue that Jared was desperately in love with him and wanted nothing more than to have him completely.

At first, Jared eased his frustrations with one-night stands. This may have calmed the ache in his body, but each time he touched another man he was haunted by green eyes, plush lips, and sun-kissed freckles. Then he would wake up the morning after, even more unsatisfied and feeling as though he’d cheated on Jensen. 

The thing was Jared had been in love with Jensen since they met five years ago at their mutual friend’s, Chris’, apartment. He’d heard a heart-warming, laugh and searched the apartment until he’d found the source of that glorious sound. Jared had been instantly drawn to Jensen and outside of the fact that he was absolutely beautiful, Jensen was intelligent, charming, and just an all- around great guy. Jared couldn’t help but be enamored and his affections were barely masked.  
Chris, taking note on how Jared’s eyes followed Jensen’s every move, felt the need to warn Jared that Jensen was not into guys. “Jensen’s straight you know,” he said. That awkward conversation made Chris the only one of their friends who knew how Jared felt about the man.

Jensen wasn’t the first straight boy that Jared wanted or even crushed on, but he was the first one that he fell in love with. Growing up in Texas, he had learned how to handle these feelings, how to conceal them, yet somehow with Jensen he had no such control. The more he got to know Jensen, the more the love he felt for the man settled in his heart and refused to leave. Sometimes he was so overwhelmed by his love for Jensen that he had to get away, just leave town, when it got to be too much. 

When Jensen wanted to move from his parents’ home after graduation and started looking for potential roommates, Jared didn’t hesitate to offer up one of the three available rooms at his house. Jensen had just landed his first “real” job, working as an assistant’s assistant at a sports agency, and Jared negotiated the rent to allow Jensen to live comfortably within his means. Jared thought it was a win-win situation; Jensen got a place to live and he got to spend more time with Jensen.  
The news they were moving in together went off without a hitch to their friends. However during their first hosted party, Chris cornered Jared, “What the fuck are you thinking, Jare?”

“What are you talking about, Chris?” Jared asked looking stunned.

Unrelenting, Chris asked, “Do you think this will get you in his pants?” 

“What!? No!” Jared responded, “Jens needed a place to live and I sure as hell wasn’t using this whole place.”

“So this isn’t some elaborate plan to win him over or something?” Chris’ face relaxed a bit but his voice remained stern.  
“Really, Chris? It’s been three years, if I was going to try to have sex with him, I would have tried that a while ago.”  
Once Chris was satisfied, he eased up. 

The problem that Jared hadn’t counted on was how he became hyper aware of Jensen in the house. Before, he could escape his growing obsession by going home, but with the object of his affection living there, he couldn’t find a place to relax. Luckily, for Jared, drawing for his increasingly popular graphic novels allowed him to hole up in his home office while Jensen was at work, and if need be, while he was home. Because there was no way in hell he was going to ask the other man to leave. 

Fast forward two years, endless one-sided sexual frustration, and Jensen’s full time job turned into a four hour a day, four days a week part time job. This made Jared’s problem of his waning self-control even more difficult. On the other hand, Jensen’s biggest concern was how he hadn’t been able to make rent on time in six months, he’d lost his job eight months ago and only gotten the part time gig a few weeks ago. Having burned through his savings, his portion of the rent for the past five months had been borrowed from his parents.

The bitch of it was that Jared didn’t need a roommate, between the money left to him by his grandparents, and the publishing deal he earned for his graphic novels, Jared was well past comfortable. Some might even go so far as to call him rich. Only his family knew his financial information (and business manager) but it meant Jensen could have lived there for free had he only asked. But he didn’t and he wouldn’t. Jensen’s pride would not let him do that.

Jared knew that just as he knew that Jensen was not going to wake up one day and discover that he was gay and want to share his bed, his life; that they would not get gay married and adopt foreign babies, because Jensen wanted his babies the old-fashioned way. With girls. Jared had a lawyer, not a uterus.

Jared stood in the hallway separating his office from the den, watching Jensen. He could tell by the way Jensen was rubbing the back of his neck that the phone conversation with his parents was not a good one. From what he could make out, they could not help him with this month’s rent or the rent that would be due in two weeks. His sister MacKenzie’s tuition was due and it had to be paid so she could register and get the classes she needed.

Jared wanted to tell Jensen to forget the rent. That he could pay whenever he was back on his feet, but he knew that the man’s pride would get in the way. Apparently, even that was bigger in Texas.

Jared cleared his throat, once he ended the call, to let Jensen know he was entering the room. “You okay?” he asked quietly.  
He watched the indecisiveness play across Jensen’s face.

“Yeah,” Jensen answered, “yeah, I’m okay.” The nervous habit of rubbing his hand across the back of his neck told Jared otherwise.

Jared knew Jensen well. He knew Jensen’s next call was going to be to Chris. He also knew as well as Jensen did that they were not going to be able to help him. Chris and their friend Steve were sharing an apartment with two other guys to save enough money to travel this summer promoting their band. They were doing everything they could to save money.

~Jensen~

A little over an hour later Jensen was staring at his phone after ending a conversation with Chris. He didn’t have the money to lend and if Chris didn’t have it then neither did Steve because they were in the same boat. If they lent him the money, then their boat would take on water. 

After the call, Jensen made his way to Jared’s office. Putting this off was not going to make it easier. Jared was leaving for a weeklong business trip tomorrow. If he had to find another place to live, then he wanted to do it while Jared was out of town.

“Hey Jared,” he said knocking on the door. “Can we talk?”

“What’s up man?” Jared asked looking up from his work.

“I… my parents…not…,” he stammered trying to find the words. “Icantmakerentthismonthornext,” he said running the words together, face flushed with embarrassment.

Jared looking at him turned his face redder and he ducked his head in shame.

“It’s okay Jensen,” he said gently. “I got it covered.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Jensen countered, becoming more frustrated. “I’m a grown ass man who can’t meet his responsibilities. I have to go running to mama and daddy for help and now I can’t even do that!”

“It’s not your fault you lost your job,” Jared reminded him. “Look, I know you have to pay your parents back. I can wait; it’s no biggie for me. Okay? Once you get back on your feet, you can pay me.”

Jensen could tell Jared was becoming equally frustrated. Jared ran his hands through his hair and said, “Jensen, this is what friends do. They help each other.”

“It is a big deal to me, but I really don’t have much of a choice. I promise I’ll pay back every cent!” Jensen promised.  
~*~

That night, Jensen and his friend’s, Jared included, went to his favorite club. It was serving as a last hurrah for Steve and Chris, since they were leaving for their tour in a few days, and Jared was set to head off for a weeklong business trip. Jensen was using the time to blow off some steam and drown his sorrows on his friend’s dime. 

Even after three rounds of shots, his lack of funds was back at the forefront of his mind when he caught sight of Danneel. He learned she was a bartender every few nights but, during the day, she worked at an animal shelter. Drop dead gorgeous and a humanitarian, she was a perfect 10. Unfortunately, as much as Jensen wanted to ask her out, and by the way she looked back at him between customers it would be a yes, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it while broke. His mama taught him a woman like that should be taken care of.

“This fucking sucks,” Jensen thought as he took a swig from the beer bottle before him. He swallowed the last of his drink and the amount of liquid in his system finally registered. 

Turning to Steve, Jensen said, “Hey move man, I gotta take a leak.” He made his way out the booth towards the bathroom, Chris calling out to him, “You break the seal and you’ll be pissing every 20 minutes.”

As Jensen entered the bathroom, he noticed the two men at the sink jump apart as soon they realized someone was coming in. The younger-looking of the two was stuffing something, probably money, in his pocket. Shaking his head, Jensen decided that it might be better to use a stall instead of the urinal. He wasn’t sure where they were in their transaction, but when he heard the door open and close he was pretty sure it was complete. He finished up and went to wash his hands; that’s when he noticed that the younger guy was still there.  
“Hi,” the guy greeted in a hoarse voice. Jensen grinned to himself thinking how it got that way, now understanding the previous transaction.

“You’re gorgeous,” the young man continued.

“Thanks?” Was Jensen’s questioned reply. He wondered just where was this guy thought this was going.  
Walking up to Jensen, the man reached out and touched Jensen’s chest, “If I didn’t need the money, I’d do you for free.” In what Jensen surmised was supposed to be a seductive voice.

 

“So not interested, even for free.” Jensen said as he washed his hands.  
The guy was what Jared taught him was a twink. He was dressed in the mandatory uniform of tight black skinny jeans with an equally tight net shirt and black boots. His spiked hair was dyed black with blue tips. Yeah, he was definitely a twink.  
Stepping closer, the man lowered his voice even more, “Try it man. I mean a mouth is a mouth, right?”

Jensen decided to try another tactic, “You could be right, however I don’t have the… how much?’’

“Fifty dollars,” the boy supplied.  
“Fifty dollars!? For a blowjob? Really?”

“Hey it’s a classy joint,” The twink replied.

“Well, sorry to tell you, I don’t work. My friends are covering me tonight. So I can’t afford your talented mouth,” Jensen supplied honestly  
.  
Without saying another word, the twink turned and left in a huff. Jensen splashed some water on his face and made his way to the exit and back to his friends.

~*Jared*~ 

Tonight was supposed to be a send-off. Chris and Steve were going be living it up on tour with the band and he was making his first trip out to New York in what felt like ages. But instead of enjoying himself, Jared sat at the outside of the booth staring at Jensen brood. Jared watched as each shot passed Jensen’s pink lips and how his face would perk up, become pensive, and then droop.

It struck him as funny that what they were spending on drinks could’ve paid almost half a month of Jensen’s rent. Jared understood what the man was doing, so he didn’t say anything. Jared was felt bad for the guy. He knew his finances were bothering him but liquor is supposed to ease your mind of thinking about responsibilities. 

Jared checked his watch. He had a 9 a.m. flight tomorrow and wanted to be home earlier than usual. Normally he hated clubs like this, but it gave him a break. A break from his constant lusting after Jensen. He’d been able to relax. To breathe. He wouldn’t have to worry if someone caught him staring at Jensen or if his touch lingered too long. Being the designated driver had the benefit of knowing everyone is drunk around you so you can blame the alcohol. 

Chris did catch him a few times though. The first time got him an elbow to the side and a “Stop staring, weirdo” glare. By the third time, Chris just rolled his eyes. “That boy is never gonna learn” clearly written on his face. 

The thing was that Jensen was staring himself, mainly at the bartender who was sending him googly eyes back. And she wasn’t the only one; there were quite a few admirers of Jensen, including kid who barely looked twenty-one gyrating in hopes to catching his eye. When the kid saw Jared looking at him, he winked and made his way towards the back of the club. 

The beer Jared got at the beginning of the night and nursed for the last hour was keeping him from outright ogling Jensen. Steve’s riveting conversation about the benefits to playing a gig in Gila Bend, Arizona instead of Phoenix helped a bit too. Luckily, Jensen scooted his way out the booth with a mention of the bathroom, so that helped even more. He couldn’t stare at someone who wasn’t there. 

Twenty minutes had passed and Jared realized Jensen still wasn’t back. He looked over the crowd to see if Jensen had made a pit stop anywhere. When Jared’s eyes found where the bathrooms were he saw the young guy from earlier exiting. The guy glanced briefly at Jared a smile playing on his lips. He tucked his back pocket in and made a show of wiping his mouth on his too tight shirtsleeve. 

Jared saw this and chuckled, nothing like some quick head in the bathroom of a bar. He was waiting to see who would come out next, the kid’s lucky customer. Jared’s laughter died quickly and his breath seemed to leave his body when he saw Jensen walk out behind the boy, zipping up his pants.

Jensen made his way back to the table and sat down next to Steve. Jared’s eyes went from Jensen to the boy, questioning. Jensen looked back and just shrugged the universal motion for “whatever.” 

“Chris, this guy was charging fifty bucks for a blowjob in the john. Can you believe that?” Jensen laughing heartily and took swig of his beer, “If I were gay, maybe I could give Jared blow jobs to make my rent.”

Steve joined in with Jensen’s laughter, Chris huffed out awkwardly, and Jared sat shocked still. Stealing a look at Jared, Chris changed the subject as quickly as possible.

Jared knew Jensen and he knew that what he said was meant in jest, that it was the alcohol talking. He knew it. He knew that Jensen was not trying to be hurtful in any way. Nevertheless, that comment did two things to him. It angered him. He couldn’t believe Jensen had let some random guy suck him off. And it instantly turned him on. The comment brought to mind images of his tan and toned lower body naked to the room. Jensen’s cock, spit slick and thick ready to come in Jared’s waiting mouth. 

The two feelings merged into something ugly inside him. The bombardment of thoughts and questions did not help to stop Jared’s his mind from wandering. Why wouldn’t Jensen give him a shot? Was Jared not good enough for him? If only Jensen knew how good Jared could make him feel. Better than a cheap trick in a bar. Maybe sex was the way to get to him. Most dudes think with their dicks, right? Yea, that’s what it would take. The idea that came to him should’ve made him feel ashamed and dirty; but the image of Jensen willingly on his knees sucking down Jared’s dick would not leave. 

Chapter 2

The next morning, the image was still there, playing repeatedly in Jared’s mind. It was featured in Technicolor in his dreams when he finally went to sleep and had him waking up with his shorts sticking to him.  
Jared was up early for his flight but decided to change it to a later time so he could leave around the time when Jensen woke up. Having lived with wanting and loving Jensen from a distance for so long, it was like a second nature, like a part of him. Jared never acted on those feelings, never thought to, since learning Jensen was straight, but the dam broke last night and he could not stop himself. He knew he was going to act on them today, put everything on the line, and see if Jensen really meant what he said.

This was going to ruin their friendship, he fucking knew they would never be the same whether or not Jensen took him up on what he was about to offer.

Nervous didn’t being to describe how Jared felt but he busied himself by making a pot of coffee when he heard Jensen rise. He sat on the sofa waiting for Jensen to finish his shower and come into the den. The room was deathly quiet, the only sound was Jared tapping the envelope he held against his shoe.  
“You can do this,” Jared reassured himself.

Finally, Jensen came into the room, a cup of coffee in hand. Jared began, “We need to talk.”  
Jared could see the horror on Jensen’s face. Jensen probably thought he was about to tell him to be out by the time he got back from New York. 

Jared handed over the envelope, as Jensen sat in the side chair. “Open it,” He told the other man.  
Inside was a check made out to Jensen’s parents for $4,900. Looking from the check to Jared, Jensen questioned, “I… don’t understand?”

“That is a check for the money you owe your parents. That includes this month and next month’s as well. If you need any future rent, it can be negotiated.”

“Negotiated? I still don’t understand.”

Huffing out a breath, Jared looked Jensen in the eye, “It’s in exchange for you… for you sleeping with me. Giving me what you gave that boy last night.”

Jensen wasn’t an overly talkative person, Jared had that covered, but this was the first time Jared had ever seen Jensen look speechless.

“Jare? What boy?” He asked, terror laced through every word. “You know… you know I’m not gay.’’

“Here’s the thing Jensen, I like you. A lot. I can honestly say I’m in love with you. Have been since I met you, and yes I know you don’t feel the same, that you’re not gay,” Jared paused, trying to find the right words, “I have been shoving this down for so long, that I just can’t do it any longer. It will not go away. I want you like I have never wanted anyone else, and if this is the only way I can have you, then so be it.”

Jensen made no move to speak. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  
Jared began again, “Look I’m not looking for an answer now, and I know you need time to think about this. If you give that check to your parents, I’ll take that as a yes.”

“And if I don’t?”  
“We’ll discuss where we go from here when I get back.”

With that, he stood up and grabbed the carryon he had placed by the door. Jared turned to Jensen one last time.  
“I know this is a shock, but it doesn’t have to be bad. It could be good between us Jens, so fucking good,” He pleaded. “You know me, you know that I’m not a terrible person, I’m not. I’m just someone who’s taking a chance at the only thing he has ever wanted and never thought he’d get.”

With those last words, Jared took advantage of the shocked look and defeated stance on Jensen and left. The ball was in Jensen’s court and all he could do was wait.

~*Jensen*~

Hit and run was the best way Jensen could describe what just happened. Jared had dropped a bomb on him and walked off. Jensen couldn’t move if he wanted to, he was pretty sure he’d suddenly become paralyzed.

The check he was holding seemed to be the answer to all his dreams and the cause of his current nightmare. His first instinct was to rip it in tiny pieces, but logic kicked in and he realized he couldn’t afford to do that, not without another place to live.

He knew how much he owed his parents, but to see it in black and white, well it was daunting. Not as much as the weight Jared just put on his shoulders, but still, it was a lot. Sex with a man. Sex. With Jared. His friend. Not if he could help it. He dug in his pocket for his phone.

More than a dozen phone calls, a trip to his parents, and four days later, Jensen learned that all of his friends were in, or close to, the same predicament as him. Well, maybe not the same predicament. It’s just that they were all fresh out of college and trying to get on their feet. Most were living well above their means or they just didn’t have the extra space. They would like to help, but they couldn’t. They really couldn’t understand why Jensen wanted to leave such a sweet setup anyway, and there was no way he was going to explain why.

He tried Chris and Steve since they were going to be gone all summer long, but they were subletting their rooms so they could save even more money.

The last option was to put his pride aside and ask, beg if he had to, to come back home. There really wouldn’t need to be a long drawn out explanation because his parents knew about his current money situation. He didn’t even get a chance to ask. Since MacKenzie had officially moved out, his parents decided to downsize, they had sold the house and purchased a condominium. A one-bedroom condominium. Fuck!

He left the check with them, accepted their praise about what a responsible man he was becoming, and how proud they were that he was living up to their expectations.

Jensen just wanted to grab a bottle of Jack, crawl under a rock and die. As soon as he gave the check to his parents, he knew he couldn’t change his mind. What was he going to say, “sorry, Mom and Dad, if I give it to you I have to fuck my roommate, my male roommate. You know, Jared, the guy you’ve had over during the holidays?” He just didn’t see that happening. 

Dejected, Jensen just gave up; he had spent almost the whole week Jared had been gone trying to find another place to live, to no avail. Now all he could do was get drunk and wait.

~*Jared*~

Unable to calm his worries, Jared paced his hotel room. Once he’d put the offer out there he’d destroyed a great friendship, taking it back wasn’t going to change that. However, the thought of possibly rescinding the offer did not cross his mind. It was all or nothing. Yet, having no idea what decision Jensen was driving him crazy. Jared wanted to call him, if only to ease his own fears, but he wouldn’t. Tomorrow he’ll be flying home and his answer will come one way or the other. If only he could make Jensen want him and love him in return. It would kill him to have to let him go.

Looking to find a way to stop thinking of Jensen and having already visited his old friends and former haunts from his yearlong stay when he was trying to get published. Jared decided to do something productive. He powered up his laptop and started paying bills. That’s when he saw it. The check he’d written to Jensen’s parents. Cashed. 

Jensen was his. At least for seven weeks and now it was up to him to make it permanent.  
He got so hard at the thought he didn’t even realize he’d pulled his cock out until his thumb was sliding through the precome at the slit and he was coming hard, Jensen’s name on his lips.

After cleaning up, Jared wanted to celebrate, but how do you celebrate coercing your best friend into having sex with you in exchange for a place to live. He was pretty sure Hallmark doesn’t make a card for that.  
He decided to go downstairs for lunch before he did something stupid, like call Jensen, therefore, not wanting to eat alone, he called his agent Megalyn, to join him. 

With the time he spent waiting for her to arrive, he thought about how he could make this easier for Jensen. Jared knew that he had to be the one to make this easier for Jensen, to show him he could enjoy this. God knows he would, he ached just to kiss the man. To see if those lips lived up to what they promised.

He remembered the look of terror on Jensen’s face when he proposed the idea to him. He knew that Jensen did not give that check to his parents without exhausting every avenue available to him. He also knew that he was not going to tell anyone why he was looking for somewhere else to live so he had that in his favor.

As he waited for the waiter to bring him a menu, Jared sat back and looked around him and it seemed as though love was in the air. To his left a man was giving his wife a huge bouquet of flowers, and to his right another man was gifting his date with jewelry. 

Megalyn arrived looking beautiful as always and interrupted his musings. He adored her. She is the one who kept him sane when he lived here, showed him the ins and outs of both the city and the business. She looked fragile, but she could be a ball buster when needed, she was also a good sounding board who did not judge. After he placed their orders, he reluctantly told her what he had done and asked for help.

“So I’m thinking that telling you that you can call this off is not an option, huh?”  
Shaking his head, he answered, “No, not even.” He knows that he cannot un-ask Jensen to let him fuck him in lieu of rent, so no. He knew he had damaged their friendship the moment he opened his mouth and if there was the slightest chance that he could have Jensen on a permanent basis, there was no going back.

“Please, I’m desperate here.”

“You should have called me before you did this.” She thought for a minute, “Ok Jared, look around and tell me what you see?”

He told her what he had noticed before, women being courted with flowers and jewelry.

“That is what you do Jared, court him. Let him know that you want more than sex. Show him that he is not some little trick that you picked up at the club. Let him know, no show him that that you love him, that you are in this for the long haul, and maybe, just maybe he will start to feel the same way.”

Jared thought everything over, the problem was, well Jensen is not a flowers or jewelry kind of guy and said as much to Megalyn.

“Then get off your lazy ass and find out what he likes, do some homework, figure it out and the man won’t know what hit him.” 

Seeing that Jared was letting her words sink in, she continued, “Work for him Jared. If you think that you have the possibility of having him love you at the end of this, then this is what you should have been doing all along. It should have never gotten to this point.”

“As usual, you’re right, but it never occurred to me before. I just…,” he conceded. “Ok, if I am going to court him I need you to do something for me.”

Chapter 3

On the drive home from the airport, Jared was excited and nervous like a teenager on his first date. Obviously, he and Jensen had to talk, but the thought that he would be able to touch Jensen and Jensen would touch him, had him on the verge of coming in his pants before he even walked through the door. He knew that he couldn’t just jump the guy when he walked in, but oh God please he could dream.

As Jared pulled into the driveway, he noticed that Jensen’s parents’ car was parked out front. Panic set in and a million questions ran though his mind. “What did this mean? Did Jensen change his mind? Were they going to give the money back? Were they going to attack him for what he was doing? He would understand if they did. 

Walking into the house he saw the warm smiles of the Ackles’ and let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Jared saw Jensen attempt to disappear when he came in but, remembering his parents, Jensen stood off to the side avoiding eye contact. He wondered if Jensen had planned this, to have some kind of buffer between them so Jared wouldn’t just rape him in the middle of the foyer.

“Mr. and Mrs. Ackles,” Jared greeted as he walked into the living room, “didn’t expect to see you guys today.” He looked over at Jensen who was still looking everywhere but at him.

He hugged Jensen’s mom, Donna, and shook the outstretched hand offered by Jensen’s father, as they walked out the door.

Alan spoke up then, “We know how tough things have been for you son, so we are so proud of you, and thanks Jared for helping him out.”  
Looking at his son, Alan stated proudly, “Looks like things are looking up.”

“How so?” Jared asked.

“Well in addition to being able to pay us back, an old co-worker of Jensen’s has lined up an interview with the Mavs for Jensen!” The man was beaming, “I don’t know who’s more excited, me or him.”  
“Our son has great friends!” Donna chimed in, grinning up at Jared.  
Jared felt like a heel.

“Bye boys, Jensen call me when you get that interview set up, alright?” Alan asked as he walked through the door.

“Sure thing dad,” Jensen called back.

Jared closed the door and finally looked at Jensen. “The Mavs huh?” 

“Yeah,” he responded, speaking to him for the first time since Jared had walked in the door. “A chance at my dream job and it could not have come at a better time because if I get, it will get me out of this nightmare.”

Jared ignored the last part of the remark. What could he say? Had anyone else put Jensen in this awkward position, he’d be the first one to try to help. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he’d made up his mind and now there was no going back.

Taking a good look at the other man, Jared could see the toll the past week had taken on him. He was pale and Jared swore he had lost some weight. Jensen stood, chewing nervously on his bottom lip waiting for Jared to make his next move.

Jared knew he wasn’t going to have full-blown sex with Jensen tonight, he didn’t even pretend to expect that, but now he had to rethink about what kind of contact he was going to have, if any at all. He was prepared to wait this out.  
Jensen moved to sit on the sofa, and Jared follow¬¬¬ed, he purposefully plopped down bedside him. Jared knew he was sitting closer than he normally would; it was intimate, being in the other man’s personal space. As he sat down, he placed his hand on top of Jensen’s thigh and felt the man tense up. Jensen didn’t attempt to move away, or protest, but Jared knew it was unwelcome.

“Do you want to talk now or would you rather wait?” Jared asked, not removing his hand.  
He knew Jensen was uncomfortable, but he was going to have to get used to his touch because Jared planned to do a lot more than touch his leg.

Tensing even more under Jared’s hand, Jensen answered bitterly, “Let’s just get this over with. We can talk now. What do you want from me? What do you expect from me?”

“I want you...” to love me, Jared’s mind filled in, instead he shook his head, “Never mind that. Cause what I really want; I know I can’t have so I won’t pretend otherwise.” Jared answered solemnly, “But I do want you physically. Badly and if this is all I can get, then I’ll take it.”

“Do we start tonight? Jensen asked, not bothering to hide the mixture of fear and disgust showing on his face.  
“No, we don’t have to.”

“How long until I’m squared up?”

“A week for every month, but if you don’t follow through, then you have to repay me the money.”  
“Do I get any say in what we do?”

“What are your limits, Jens?”

“Jensen,” he said aggressively.

“Huh?”

“When I conduct business, it’s Jensen. I’m not sure what kind of kinks you have, but this will just be straight sex.”  
Jared smirked at the unintended pun. 

Jensen quickly retorted, “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Oh, and no kissing.” Jensen continued with his guidelines. “That is so... so, I don’t know intimate and I… just no kissing.”  
Jared was going to protest, he really wanted to kiss Jensen. To suck on that bottom lip, he had been worrying since he walked in the door, to see if it is as soft as it looks. Jared also knew that a kiss would show what sex couldn’t, that he loved Jensen more than words. Now he couldn’t show that since it has been taken off the table.

“Ok, Jens...en, no kissing.” Jared reluctantly agreed. 

“No one else can know. I would die if anyone else found out.”

“Ok, I understand that. Anything else?’’

“Who… tops?”  
This question surprised Jared and after a second to control himself from the sudden image of topping Jensen, he wondered when and where did Jensen learn about tops and bottoms? Jared thought he would teach him of their soon to be dynamics, but it occurred to him, Jensen probably did some research on the internet. 

“I do Jensen, I do,” He finally answered. “I know this doesn’t mean much right now, but I promise I will make this so good for you, just don’t fight it.”

“Don’t fight it? I can’t see me doing anything else.”

With that statement, Jared stood up and walked up the stairs to his room. Jensen probably expected their discussion to be Jared laying down the ground rules and then laying him. Had he not cared for the man, Jared would have. Instead, he had a plan. He could talk until he was blue in the face but words still wouldn’t convince Jensen that he could enjoy this, so showing him became his mission. 

Over the next few days, Jared wanted Jensen to get used to him in his space. He started with lingering touches when passing the remote and gentle caresses as they passed each other through the house. When Jensen cooked, Jared would stand right beside him while they prepped, arms touching shoulders to wrists. During meals, Jared’s feet would casually brush Jensen’s ankle or calf. They even talked more. Learned new things about each other, like how they both loved and eventually wanted dogs.

By the end of the first week, Jared could feel Jensen relaxing into his advances and becoming more comfortable with the new level of intimacy. Sometimes he would scoot over on the couch to rest his head on Jensen’s shoulder to read along with him, or rub little circles with his thumb on Jensen’s thigh as they watched TV. Jared made sure to be aware of any resistance, because he wanted Jensen and that was his end goal after all. The night he stood right behind Jensen while he cooked, his half-hard dick rubbing his ass, and Jensen only tensed for a moment before he relaxing into it, Jared knew he could up the ante.

~*Jensen*~

Jensen had grown increasingly apprehensive when coming home from work since Jared returned from New York. He couldn’t face knowing if today was the day he would have to fulfill his part of the bargain, so he’d started volunteering at the local animal shelter anytime he wasn’t working. Unfortunately, this was where Danneel worked and her previously welcomed, and returned flirtations, suddenly felt dirty when he knew he’d be coming home to Jared’s touch. This didn’t help the feeling of oncoming doom about his situation at home. 

Jensen had noticed Jared’s increase in intimate touches; they weren’t overtly sexual, most of the time. And even the time when Jared’s dick was on his ass, it wasn’t as if Jared dry humped him or anything. But after only one week, the pressure was getting to him. 

Jensen pulled his truck in the driveway, killed the ignition and just sat there. He knew he was going to have to go in, but he needed a moment to gather his wits. It was his turn to cook and Jared’s recent move to turn dinner into a two-man job meant more touching and crowding up behind him; Jared’s very large and hard cock pressed against him. 

Having lived with Jared for quite a while now, Jensen had seen him naked a couple of times over the years, so he knew what was waiting for him. After giving his parents the check, he went to Google to figure out how the whole gay sex thing actually worked, because all he could imagine was ‘don’t drop the soap’ scenes in mind. Having a vague idea of the process and then seeing a guy getting rammed were two very different things. Jensen was terrified. 

The closest he’d ever been to another man’s dick was in the showers after football practice in high school and none of his buddies back then were as big as Jared. How was that supposed to fit in him? 

Jensen went inside, took a quick shower and began to prepare dinner, a simple chicken casserole recipe that, ironically, Danneel had given him. He noticed Jared’s car outside when he came in, but he hadn’t seen the man until he looked out the window over the kitchen sink. 

Jared was in the back yard doing sit-ups, part of his evening work out, clad only in loose mesh shorts. Jensen had a good view of the man from inside the house; the ability to watch him without any intent being implied or misunderstood. Jensen appreciated the hard work the other man put into the shape he was is, he wasn’t overcome with lust, but he was a little envious. 

Jensen was no slouch, but Jared had him by about three inches and about fifty pounds of muscle. Where Jensen was muscular and trim, Jared looked as though he was bulking up to become a bodybuilder. 

As he stared at Jared’s body, his mind wandering off, he didn’t realize that Jared was watching him too. Jensen wasn’t sure what idea Jared got, but he was sure it was the wrong one. Quickly moving away from the window, Jensen checked on the casserole in the oven and sat down to watch TV.

Jared came inside forty minutes later and headed for the shower. As Jensen was portioning the casserole to serve, Jared emerged from upstairs. With his back to Jared, Jensen reached up to grab a plate, and that’s when it happened. When Jared decided to lay claim on what he’d paid for.

Jared walked up to his back and put his arms around him. His body was pressed flush against Jensen, and his hands rested on his hips. The hard dick rutting into his ass along with the strained breathing let him know what Jared’s intentions were. This was sexual.

Jensen felt his body tense as Jared’s hands made their way under the soft cotton t-shirt he wore, softly moving up his body to flick at his nipples. When those same large hands came down to undo the snap of his jeans, he began to tremble. He was scared. This was really happening. When Jared’s right hand found its way inside his boxers, Jensen bit his lip. Jensen was not hard, not even half way, but it didn’t seem to discourage Jared, the man was hard enough for the both of them.

How long would this last if his body did not get excited about what was being done to it? Would Jared force him to continue? He didn’t have to wait long for the answers, because his body had other ideas. When Jared’s fingers brushed teasingly down the length of his cock and across the slit there was precome there. Jensen was getting hard, against any thoughts in his mind that it was Jared doing it to him, because his body liked it. He remembered that guy in the bathroom saying a mouth was a mouth, looks like that applied to hands as well  
.  
As his pants and boxers were pulled down just below his ass, Jared whispered in his ear, “Relax and let me do this for you.”  
The slow, long strokes had him trembling for a different reason now. He gave up fighting the want that raced through his veins like fire and leaned back into Jared. He knew he was going to hate himself about this later, but he would deal with that then. All he could do now was let the sensation wash over him. He heard sounds, whimpers, and realized that they were coming from him.

As Jensen urged on the taller man, he heard “I’ve got you,” whispered into his ear, but he was too far-gone to comprehend it.

Those large hands knew what they were doing; the slight twist on each stroke had him squirming in his skin. The rough callous’ on Jared’s fingers only heightened the delicious sensations that were taking over his body. Oh god why was his body betraying him? Jensen asked. He didn’t want Jared, did he? He had never thought about him sexually, yet here he was about to blow his load over the man’s hand and apparently loving it.

He felt the orgasm start at the top of his spine, travel down and settle in his stomach. His entire body felt over heated and his skin too tight. He was going to come. Hard. Jensen’s body stiffened and Jared’s hand was covered with stripes of come. Jared didn’t remove his hand; he just stroked Jensen through the aftershocks until he was pushed away from over stimulation.

Jensen could not believe what had just happened. He went from not interested to... what the fuck? He had no idea. He moved away from Jared to lean against the counter for support. As he did, he saw Jared move his hand to his mouth and lick off the come. Jensen had to get out of there. This was too much. He pulled his pants up and ran to his room. He couldn’t face the man. Not yet.

By the time he reached his bed, Jensen thought he was going to hyperventilate. He knew what he was in for when he gave his parents that check, but he didn’t think that his body would betray him and enjoy it. He wasn’t gay. He had never looked at a man in a sexual way in his life, but that orgasm Jared had wrung from his body left him scared and confused. He still wasn’t attracted to Jared, but Jesus fuck!

It wasn’t until both his emotions and body were under control did he think about Jared. He remembered the man had been hard. Was he supposed to take care of that for him? Or was Jared taking care of himself. They didn’t discuss that and he sure as hell wasn’t going to go out there and ask him.

His musings were interrupted by a loud growl from his stomach. God he was starving, but… but nothing, he was going to have to face the man. Might as well bite the bullet and get it over with. He opened the door and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Jensen hoped that Jared would be either his bedroom or his office. No such luck, Jared sat at the center island. The plates taken out earlier were gone; Jared had also put the food away.

“I made you a plate, it’s in the microwave,’’ said a soft spoken voice from behind him. “Just so you know, it was good.”  
Unsure if Jared was talking about the food or the hand job, Jensen ducked his head like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar and mumbled “Thank you.”

He then stood there for a moment, not quite sure what he should do. “You ok?” Jared asked.  
“I don’t know man,” he replied rubbing his hand over his face, still looking anywhere but at Jared. “This is not something I ever expected to be doing.”

“I know.” Jared hesitated and said, “I know that this is not what you wanted, and I know we can’t go back to the way we were before this. But please know that I am not a malicious person. You know I’m not.”

“Says the man that just jerked me off against my will.” Jensen turned to Jared then, looking a bit hurt.  
This time it was Jared who looked ashamed and ducked his head, but he didn’t walk away. 

Changing the subject, Jared turned and rubbed his wet eyes, “This came today. I got it in New York.” Picking up the package he had left on the counter, he turned back towards Jensen, “It’s that new book you were waiting for. My agent, Megalyn, managed to get a signed copy before it hit the book stores.’’

Jensen slowly reached forward and took the book from Jared. It was the latest in a popular series of sci-fi books by one of his favorite authors. Two weeks ago, he would have hugged the man and thanked him profusely. Now he was not sure how he was supposed to react. Is this part of his re-payment plan? Were there strings attached? He had never been so utterly confused.

His stomach chose that moment to growl again. Loudly. He mumbled an awkward “thank you” and turned his attention to the microwave. He quickly warmed his food and made his way to the table and away from Jared.  
As he tucked into his food, Jared came and sat across from him. Avoiding his gaze, Jensen kept his head down; missing the love, want and self-loathing warring in Jared’s eyes.

Chapter 4

Jared listened as Jensen left for work. Jared woke early to make Jensen coffee to take with him to work. These were some of the little things he was doing for him now as part of his wooing of the man. A couple of weeks ago he had heard Jensen mention a cappuccino machine that he would love to have, so he would be getting that this afternoon. Also, since Jensen had started volunteering at the animal shelter, he had been talking about these two dogs, puppies really, that had come in. They were going to be Jensen’s as well. 

Jared knew he was fighting dirty, but when he saw Jensen watching him, the thought of the other man liking his body, wanting to touch it, made him hard. He wasn’t surprised though when Jensen got freaked and ran.

However, Jared finally had a taste of Jensen. He felt his dick jump and twitch under his hands. He was able to let his body give into what his mind wouldn’t let him. Heard him make those sweet little moans in his ear; coming just for him. Jared couldn’t, wouldn’t let that go without a fight. He went to sleep last night with the sound of those moans still in his head and his cock in his hand. Just as he came, he knew he had to have more of Jensen and he was going to do everything in his power to get it.

Even with what happened in the kitchen yesterday, Jared was sure that Jensen was not just going to start wanting more. But he’d had a taste and there was no going back now his conscience wouldn’t win this war. Their friendship has already been fucked up, so this was not going to end without him fucking Jensen.

Jensen was trying to avoid him, but no matter how he tried to hide at the animal shelter or at his parents this was going to happen. He only had six weeks left, and before that time was up, he was going to buried balls deep in Jensen.

After Jensen left, Jared went on his morning run. He was surprised at how tense he still was afterward, and he decided that sitting around the house was not going to help. There were errands to run, and it was pure coincidence that he had to go past the kitchen supply place that carried the ridiculously expensive cappuccino machine Jensen had been pining for.  
Returning home, Jared carried in three more appliances Jensen mentioned in passing. Jensen loved to cook. And even if it was only for a short time, Jared was willing to indulge him. These were things he had wanted to do, but had never given into before.  
~*~

Jared wasn’t surprised that Jensen was late that night. He didn’t even question it. Being jerked off by another man for the first time was a big deal and he probably needed space to come to terms with it. What made him angry, however, was how Jensen passed his time away from the house. Dinner. With Danneel.

When he got close to Jensen, he could smell her perfume on him, could see the red lipstick on his mouth. The mouth that he couldn’t kiss.

This was why he was in the situation he was in with Jensen now. This… this possessiveness he had no right to feel. No right whatsoever, but he did.

All he could think about was Danneel with Jensen. Touching, kissing, fucking. Since he could not put his lips to Jensen’s, he figured he had other uses for them.

Jensen had had a few beers, Jared smelled it mingled with Danneel’s perfume, and he was going to take advantage. If he was going to hell anyway, he was going to get some enjoyment from this. Last night he came in his pants, tonight would be different.

Jensen walked past Jared and went his room after dinner, but Jared was having none of that. All Jared could think of was Danneel kissing, touching what was his. As Jensen tried to get around him, he snaked his hand out and grabbed the man’s arm.

“Not yet.”

“Jared?” Jensen whispered, questioningly.

“Did you fuck her?” Jared asked through gritted teeth.

“No. I wanted to, but I couldn’t do that to her with this thing between us.”

All Jared could do was nod his head. He reached out his hand to Jensen who stood there and stared at it before grabbing it and letting himself be led to Jared’s bedroom.

Jared began undressing and bade Jensen to do the same. He wanted him naked, so he could see all of him.  
He could see the terror in the man’s eyes; Jensen knew what was going to happen. As much as Jared did want to fuck him, he knew that the anger still coursing through him would not make it a pleasant experience. 

But if Danneel could get his kisses, why should he settle for a one-sided hand job? Jared stood naked and hard, while Jensen was still dressed.

“Do you want me to help?” Jared asked softly.  
“N, no” the other man stuttered before he began to slowly undress.

As Jensen removed his shirt, Jared stared. Those freckles he always fantasized about, well they were everywhere and he wanted to kiss them all. That was not a bad idea. He couldn’t kiss those sinful lips, but he could worship that beautiful body with his mouth.

The anger and jealously was slowly fading, soon replaced by unadulterated lust as Jensen removed his jeans and boxers. Jared huffed out a breath as he stared at the vision before him. Jensen was gorgeous. He knew that Jensen took care of himself, he exercised, and ate reasonably well and it showed. His muscle definition wasn’t the same, but god. Jensen took his breath away. 

His joy was momentary squelched when he saw that the man was still soft.

“Bet you were hard for Dani!’’ He sneered.

“I was supposed to be,” Jensen snarked back.

Jared walked towards Jensen, pushing him backwards until the back of his knees touched the bed frame and followed him down onto the mattress. 

“Trust me, before the night is over that won’t be a problem. You might not want to enjoy it, but your body sure as hell will.”

 

“Is…will….you?” Between the beers and his nerves, it seemed Jensen couldn’t voice his thoughts.

“Listen man, this is going to happen.” Jared continued. “You agreed to it. Fighting it is just going to make it bad for you. 

Let me make it good. I can blow the top of your head off if you let me.”

Jensen said nothing, he swallowed visibly and nodded.  
Jared looked at him for a moment, wanting so badly to kiss those lips, to soothe him. Instead he kissed behind his ear, hoping that was one of his hot spots. He knew Jensen couldn’t fight the sensations from being kissed and sucked and licked along the common hot spots and Jared planned to fight dirty.

He kissed his way down to Jensen’s Adam’s apple and lightly suckled. He then kissed his way across to Jensen’s collarbone and down to his nipples where he latched onto the right one. His tongue laved and tortured the puckered flesh and he then removed his mouth and blew on it, watching it harden. Satisfied, he then moved his attentions to the other one.  
Jared could feel Jensen’s dick against his leg, it was not soft, but still not fully interested. Resolved to make him hard and make him squirm, Jared licked and kissed his way down to Jensen’s belly button and dipped his tongue in. He smiled against the skin, because he could feel Jensen trying to fight his body. This was a fight he was not going to win because Jared knew how to use his mouth for more than talking.

Feeling wicked, knowing he was soon going to have a beautiful cock in his mouth; Jared licked a stripe from Jensen’s navel to his hip and sucked until he drew blood to the surface. 

Then Goddamn! Jensen moaned, a moan torn from deep in his throat, broken and desperate and, in that same instant Jensen’s dick got so fucking hard. 

Jared really grinned then and went in for the kill as he licked his way down from the top of the man’s hip, down the crease to the base of his cock. He watched as Jensen got even harder. Jared could barely contain himself. As he sucked the now drooling head into his mouth his last coherent thought was that he needed to remember that spot. Good thing he marked it. 

When Jensen’s cock hit the back of Jared’s throat, they both moaned. Jensen started bucking his hips as Jared hollowed his cheeks to create more suction and he decided not to hold Jensen’s hips in place. He just relaxed the muscles in this throat and let Jensen fuck his mouth.

Jared opened his eyes to look up at Jensen. The man was beautiful; his eyes closed, his mouth open, moaning, lost in the sensations Jared was giving him.

Jared almost stopped when he saw Jensen start biting on that bottom lip, making it moist and red and plump and Jared wanted it around his cock. He just moaned around the one in his mouth at the thought. That earned another thrust, pushing the cock deeper in his throat.

This time when Jensen’s body tensed, Jared knew it was not because of nerves or terror, he knew the man was about to come. 

“Jare, nggh.” Let him know that his instinct was true. He pulled back until only the head was still in his mouth. When the bitter taste of come hit his tongue, he swallowed, hearing a whispered “Jesus fuck!” and watching Jensen fall back on the bed.

Jared wiped his chin and made a show of licking his fingers, then pulled himself up to lie beside Jensen. Both men were panting heavily and they lay there in silence catching their breath.

Surprisingly, it was Jensen who broke the silence. “Uh…do I…you? He pointed down at Jared’s raging hard on, not able to form the words to ask if Jared wanted him to suck him off.

Jared really wanted that warm, wet mouth on him, but he knew the other man was not ready for that.  
“No, not this time, let’s start slow,” Jared answered as he reached for Jensen’s hand and guided it to his dick. He could see the relief on Jensen’s face.

When Jensen’s shaking hand tentatively touched him, Jared said, “You’d think you have never touched a dick before. This is really not different from jerking yourself off. Hopefully it’s more fun.”

“I like mine a little rough Jared.” Jensen answered, ignoring Jared’s comment.

“Do I look like a girl? I promise you it won’t break off.”

Jared could tell that Jensen wasn’t comfortable holding a cock that wasn’t his own, but he was good. He slicked his fingers through the precome and used it for lube. As his fingers became tighter and more sure Jared knew he wasn’t going to last, that he was going to come before he could enjoy the fact that he finally had Jensen Ackles’ hand on his dick, jerking him off. 

“God!” Was all he could say before coming on Jensen’s hand. Jared watched with heavy-lidded eyes as Jensen grabbed a t-shirt and cleaned his hand with it, a pleased grin across his face when he realized it belonged to Jared. Jensen then grabbed his clothes and walked out the room. 

“Well... goodnight,” Jared whispered to himself.  
~*~

The next morning was great as far as Jared was concerned; he got up early to try out the new cappuccino machine and made breakfast for Jensen. By the time Jensen had showered and headed downstairs, everything was ready. Jensen thanked Jared for the new appliances with an awkward pat on the back. But Jared wasn’t fazed. Even though they ate in silence; the atmosphere was better then last night’s tension, so Jared was happy. 

By Friday, they were sitting on the sofa drinking beer, eating pizza and playing video games like old times. Jared took advantage of the relaxed atmosphere to hopefully get Jensen more involved in what was happening between them.

“Why don’t you stay with me at night?” Jared asked, the hurt in his voice showing that he’d been holding this in.  
Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen answered, “With what I’m paying for the room I might as well use it.”

Jared, suddenly frustrated by Jensen’s attitude, asked, “Jensen why did you give your parents that check? I mean I know this is not an ideal situation, but you didn’t have to do this.” 

“Yeah I did. Suddenly, all of my friends were not there, I had no one to help me. If I explained this situation, someone would have probably made room, but that may have been just as bad as I have no money to pay.”

They sat in silence for a while, and finally Jensen asked, “Why did you do this? Put me in this situation; force my hand? You know we’re not gonna be friends after this. You know if I had had an inkling that you had feelings for me, I would have never moved in here. I really liked you and you’ve ruined everything.”

“It’s simple Jensen, I love you. I have no other reason than that. Love makes us do crazy shit.”

“You love me so much, you’d force me to have sex with you. How is that not fucked up?”

Jared had no answer, so he just took a swig of his beer and stared ahead. After a few minutes of silence, he stood up, looked down at Jensen and nodded his head in the direction of the stairs. Jensen knew what that meant. So he chugged the remainder of his beer and followed Jared to his room.

Chapter 5

Jensen didn’t think. He didn’t think that Jared would be back from his run this soon. His mistake. So when Jared saw Jensen standing in the kitchen eating a sandwich, wearing only a towel, the look in the man’s eyes told Jensen that his time was up. That look told him that a few hand jobs and blow jobs would no longer be enough.

That look in Jared’s eyes could only be described as hunger. And Jensen could honestly say he had never had anyone look at him like that before, like he was the be all end all. That look suddenly robbed him of his own hunger and he placed the sandwich back on the plate and tried to become a part of the counter.

When he saw the obvious tent in the front of Jared’s shorts, he knew he was in serious trouble. Jared blinked a few times and finally chirped out, “I need to shower, I stink, give me ten minutes.’’ Jensen saw how Jared couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from him as he made his way towards the stairs.

Jensen started pacing. How was he going to get through this? He tried to recall the few gay porn videos he’d watched when learning about the mechanics of it. The whole time he’d watched it, he had been squirming in his seat. ‘That’s got to hurt.’ He thought to himself. But then again maybe it didn’t. They wouldn’t keep doing it if it hurt right? He was not sure about any of it. He would have to do as women used do, lie back and think of England or whatever.

He was so busy worrying, that he didn’t notice Jared standing at the entrance to the den watching him freak the fuck out.  
“We’re gonna do this huh?” He asked when Jared made himself known. He didn’t bother to hide the fear in his voice.  
“Yeah, Jensen we are. I promise it will be good for both of us.”

“How can it be good for both of us?’’ He queried. Looking down at Jared’s half hard cock, he continued, “You’re not the one who’s going to have a tree trunk shoved up his ass!”

“Uh, thanks?”

“Totally not a compliment,’’ Jensen growled. 

Cocking his head and looking at the smaller man, Jared said, “You didn’t think you would enjoy what we’ve been doing so far, but you have.”

“I’m not…I”

“Don’t lie, Jens,” He said walking towards him. “You forget, I’m the one that gets to hear those sweet little sounds you make when I let you fuck my mouth, when I have my hands on you.”

Jensen felt his face flush with embarrassment, he couldn’t deny it. He might’ve started out fighting it, but Jared’s hands wrung out sensation after sensation from his body. He had found erotic spots on his body that Jensen didn’t know existed.

“This is different Jare, it’s like I don’t know…” he tried to explain, his words failing him.

“Are you scared you’ll like this too?”

In a hushed tone he said, “I’m scared of the pain, a hand job is different from being fucked.”

“I won’t lie to you. It’s gonna hurt at first, but I will go slow, take my time with you, take all night if I have to. I’ve been waiting a long time for this and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Please Jared,” he begged. “Don’t do this!”  
Jared shook his head and stepped aside to let Jensen walk ahead of him. “I have to,” he muttered, too low for the other man to hear.

As he walked down the hall, Jensen felt like an innocent man on death row. He knew he didn’t do anything to deserve this.  
Since both men were wearing towels, Jensen had no undressing to buy him time. As soon as they entered the room, Jared pulled off both towels. Jensen was naked and vulnerable and he had nowhere to hide.  
Jared stepped towards Jensen and placed both hands on Jensen’s face to kiss him, but Jensen turned his head.

“You know that’s not part of the deal.”

“Let me, please,” Jared was begging now.

“No!”

He could see that Jared wanted to argue the point, and started to, but Jensen was not going to give in. He had been adamant from the beginning about the kissing rule. Giving up, Jared leaned forward and nibbled on his earlobe instead. Jensen stiffened at the sensation; even more so when Jared’s mouth moved to the spot behind his ear. 

“God, you are so beautiful, Jensen,” Jared said before kissing down his chest and reaching for his cock. Jensen knew he wasn’t fully aroused, the nervous tension in his body keeping him on edge. A few tugs to his cock later though and he was allowing Jared’s touches to relax him. He let his eyes close and the attention to his body overwhelm him.

Jared kissed his way down and took a dip in Jensen’s navel and then went for that spot, his spot, the one he’d found when he’d first explored Jensen’s body. 

Every time Jared licked, kissed or sucked the jut of Jensen’s hip, he arched of the bed, body betraying any thoughts of ‘no’. Jensen didn’t know how to feel when he looked down at Jared and saw that the man loved his reactions. There was not smug satisfaction there, just Jared looking happy to bring him pleasure. 

As Jared’s mouth inched closer to his cock, all he could do was grunt and moan Jared on in encouragement. Jared teased him, he wouldn’t touch it directly, instead placing kisses all around the base, then moving to kiss and tongue his thighs. When Jared sucked on his balls, lapping each one with his tongue, Jensen lost all reserve and started fucking the air, looking for friction.

He got the friction he was looking for when Jared climbed back up his body. “Turn over,” the man whispered in his ear.  
Suddenly, the tension returned but he followed the instruction and watched as Jared grabbed a bottle of lube and a condom from his bedside table. Jared looked him over.

“Jensen, relax, if you’re tense this will hurt like hell,” Jared pleaded.

“I don’t know if I can,” Jensen answered truthfully.

“I’ll help you,” Jared said as he spread Jensen’s legs and crawled in between them.

Jensen couldn’t believe he was here, about to let another man fuck him. Jared kept telling him to relax, but when he set himself up right up against Jensen’s ass, there was no way relaxing was possible.

He was hard, and if Jared would have sucked him off he couldn’t deny he would have enjoyed that. Apparently Jared’s mouth really was useful for more than talking.

The kiss between his shoulder blades caught him off guard. It felt good, made him less tense again. When the kiss made its way to the top of his ass, his body and his mind were at war. His body sensed pleasure but his mind knew pain was coming.

When Jared’s hands separated his cheeks and his tongue moved over that tight ring of muscle, Jensen lost his mind and his body took over.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he spat.  
He had never in his life felt anything that good. He couldn’t even pretend to hide his response from Jared. He bucked his hips trying to get some friction on his dick, because goddamn, that was good. Jared began to fuck into him with little thrusts of his tongue and Jensen felt as though liquid fire was running through his veins. At one point he forgot to breathe.  
As that tongue pushed deeper into him, he pushed back, trying to get it as deep as he could. He wanted to be filled. 

When Jared removed his tongue to drag Jensen to his knees, he actually keened at the loss. His heart was beating double time and his cock was twitching. The heat pooling in his stomach and the fire moving down his spine told him he was going to come without being touched. He was too far gone to be embarrassed. Being on his knees with his ass in the air, Jensen’s body tingled with sensation. Then Jared started again with kitten licks around and in his hole. Jensen was gone.

“Nggggh,’’ the only sound he made as come spurted over the mattress, his head falling forward since Jared held his hips. 

“God Jens, I wish you could see yourself,” Jared whispered in awe. “So goddamn beautiful.”

That’s when Jensen felt the first finger rub along the crack of his ass and over his hole. His body was loose from the orgasm and open from Jared’s tongue, so it didn’t have time to protest. Jared’s fingers were slick, but Jensen hadn’t heard him open the bottle of lube. When the second finger joined in, and Jared began scissoring them, Jensen was starting to buck back on them. 

“You okay?” Jared asked placing gentle kisses on his lower back.  
With his face down in the mattress he muffled an affirmative. Then tilting his head to the side, Jensen provided, “Yes,” groan, “yeah, I’m good.”

If Jared tongue fucking him earlier was the height of sensation, then the introduction to a third finger sent Jensen through the stratosphere. Every push-pull of fingers tugged on his hole, which seemed to be a direct link to his quickly re-hardening cock. On one particular thrust, Jared grazed a spot inside him and his world went white behind his eyes and he almost passed out.

“Stay with me Jens,” Jared whispered in his ear. “Stay with me baby.”

He ignored the endearment, because Jared managed to spread his three fingers apart, redefining Jensen’s meaning of the word full with every passing minute. Jared continued the slow thrusts of his fingers as he ripped the condom package open and rolled it on his own cock. 

“I think you’re ready now Jensen,” Jared said with a reassuring squeeze of Jensen’s hip.  
Jensen breathed out a whispered, “Wait…”

That’s when he felt it, the head of Jared’s huge cock at his opening and he forgot what he was saying. Jensen’s cock twitched, as Jared breached him, and the rest of Jared’s huge cock entered him slowly. Inch. By. Inch.

The burn was all Jensen could think about. Wounded noises escaping his lips when Jared was pressed against him, his cock completely inside. He had known it was going to hurt. Thank god Jared stayed still. If he moved, Jensen would surely die from the pain. Jared rambled, “It’s okay baby. It’ll get better in a minute. Just hold on for me. It’ll be good. I promise. I’ll make it so good for you. Just stick with me.” All the while soothingly caressing Jensen’s back, flanks, hips, and thighs.  
And soon the pain faded and the word full was redefined again. Jensen was sure that he would never be able to feel this way again. The stretch and burn of Jared inside him, the sparks constantly firing off as Jensen clenched and released around the intrusion, even Jared’s touch slowly turning pain into pleasure. 

“God Jens, so fucking tight, feels so good,” Jared said in his ear. “Got to move. You ready?”

Jensen nodded and Jared began to move. The brief feeling of pleasure vanished as Jared slowly pulled out, that was until Jared’s hand reached around and began to slowly jack him off.

Then Jared hit that spot inside him again, tentative thrusts that hit Jensen again and again and he started begging.  
“PleasepleaseJared,” he pleaded. Hell he wasn’t even sure what he was begging for, but he knew Jared did.  
“I got you Jensen. I got you; you’re taking it so good Jens, taking all of me.” He said as he was tugging on the man’s dick in time with each harder and faster ram forward.

“Come for me,” Jared started chanting. “Come for me.” The last word was said as Jared hit Jensen’s prostate again. The power of his orgasm surged through him so suddenly; he didn’t recognize the wail punched out of him. This time Jensen really did black out for a second, Jared’s name the last thing he remembered.  
“Jesus fuck!” was grunted in his ear and he felt Jared go limp above him.

“Heavy, can’t breathe,” Jensen grumbled in Jared’s direction. Still inside him, Jared grabbed Jensen’s hip and rolled them onto their sides. He eased himself out, Jensen hissing at the action, and disposed of the condom. Jared then went to the bathroom, presumably to wash up. Jensen took the opportunity to roll off the bed and get to his room as quickly as his shaky legs would let him. Locking the door behind him, Jensen fell to his bed and began sobbing. 

How could he allow himself to be used like that? How could he have enjoyed that? How was he going to look at himself in the mirror? He couldn’t do this anymore. But he couldn’t afford to back out? God, why had he done this?

Chapter 6

The next morning Jensen eased out of his bed. He was sore all over; it seemed he used different muscles while bent over for Jared. His head hurt and his eyes were still red and puffy from crying, and he really didn’t want to face anyone right now. Especially Jared. God, he felt like a girl. Guess that’s what happens when you get fucked, instead of doing the fucking.  
Thankfully, the shower eased some of his aches. He put on his glasses before leaving, in case there were questions about his eyes, that way he could blame his contacts. He took the coward’s way out and waited until Jared went on his morning run to leave the house.

As he was pulling out of the drive he realized that he’d left his phone, but he didn’t want to chance running into Jared to go back and get it. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone today anyway, so it was a bit of a lucky coincidence. 

This was his day off so he didn’t even have work to distract him. Everyone he knew was at work so he went to the one place that could help him forget, or at least temporarily put it out of his mind the animal shelter.

To say that Danneel was happy to see him was an understatement as they were short on both staff and volunteers, so he was a welcome sight. They worked side-by-side feeding all of the animals, and cleaning cages. By the time he started walking the dogs, he was tired. 

During the walk, he thought about last night. How did he get here? Was there really no place he could go? How could he enjoy sex with a man? He wasn’t gay. Was he? He couldn’t be, he had never thought about men that way before. But since he and Jared had started messing around, he had started questioning himself. What the hell? He loved, loved pussy and women, so what was going on?

There was no way he would tell Jared any of that, but he was sure the man could tell how much he liked what they did last night. If Jared couldn’t, well he wasn’t going to be the one to enlighten him.

Danneel bought him lunch for all the hard work he put in for her today. He knew it was because she knew he couldn’t really afford to buy it himself.

“Soooo Jensen, when are you gonna ask me out?” She grinned at him over her chicken salad sandwich.  
“Danneel, you know that things aren’t going so well for me right now. I can’t,” Jensen chose his next words carefully, “afford to start anything right now.”

“I’m not so shallow that I don’t understand what’s going on dumbass,” Danneel joked. “And I mean that in the most affectionate way possible.” They both laughed, Jensen still a little bit tense.

Danneel continued, “But seriously, we can cook dinner at my place and hang out. I do make good company.”  
When the shelter closed for the day, Jensen took Danneel up on her offer. Turned out dinner included dessert. It had been a while since he had sex, with a woman, that is. 

It was good. It was good apart from how Danneel didn’t know about the sweet spot on his hip. It was especially good right up until the part where he had to concentrate extremely hard not to call out Jared’s name when he came.  
There was no explaining that.

~*Jared*~

Jensen didn’t come home that night. No phone call, no text message, no word. When Jared finally got the balls to call him, he heard the faint ring of Jensen’s phone coming from his room. Great, he’d left his phone. 

Sitting on an armchair in the den he recalled the events from the night before; when he’d come back into the bedroom all he wanted to do was fall to his knees and cry. Jensen had been gone. He thought, no he knew that Jensen had enjoyed what happened between them. So why was he still fighting this? Why couldn’t Jensen just love him back? 

Jared remembered the anger that had boiled through him as he’d walked down the hall to Jensen’s room to confront him. That’s when he had heard the sound that broke his heart, Jensen had been crying. He turned and walked back to his room cursing himself for hurting the man he so truly loved. It was him. Why was he not enough?

Jared had already proved that he was able to please Jensen sexually. He bought Jensen the items he wanted. What more was he supposed to do?

The door opened and Jared was brought back from his thoughts. He watched as Jensen tried to stealthily go upstairs.  
“I guess it was convenient that you forgot your phone?” He held up the offensive item.

“I was already gone when I realized I didn’t have it.” Jensen lied, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.  
“In such a hurry running away that it slipped your mind? Huh?” Anger biting each word, “Didn’t want to face the fact that you liked, no, fucking loved what I did to you!”

Moving closer into Jensen’s space, Jared recognized the familiar scent of perfume. Jared barked in Jensen’s ear, “You smell like her! You come into our home fresh from fucking her to what?”

Looking towards Jensen’s room, it clicked in Jared’s head what Jensen was doing. “You were going to sneak out again!?”  
“I’m sorry you didn’t have your little fuck toy last night. He was a little busy doing the fucking instead of being fucked,” Jensen spat at Jared. “I got to be a man last night, eating pussy instead of sucking cock!”

Before the word finished coming from his mouth, Jared had Jensen slammed against the wall, his arm pressed against the back of Jensen’s neck. Jared’s moved his large body to cover the smaller man, his other hand reaching around to take hold of Jensen’s dick. It was hard. 

Jared almost came when he felt Jensen beneath his hand, he had to fight hard not to. So he quickly composed himself and leaned forward to whisper, “You’ve never sucked my cock, Jensen. That pleasure’s been all mine.” 

Jared moved his hand to open Jensen’s jeans and gripped his hardness, “But it looks like my fuck toy’s got his batteries charged cause he’s working like he’s supposed to right now.” Then Jared shoved three fingers to Jensen’s mouth.

“Better get them wet,” he demanded. “Because this is the only lube you’re getting.”

Jared had condoms and lube in his bedroom but he felt that if he left to retrieve them Jensen would run, so spit would have to do.  
He moaned as Jensen opened his mouth and wet his fingers; he felt it all the way down to his cock. The heat just flowed through his veins and pooled in his stomach.

Jared removed his fingers forcefully and used the hand on Jensen’s back to pull the man’s boxers and jeans down with one tug. “You have no idea how much I just want to slam into that ass, my ass. Remember that, Jensen.” Jared teased his spit-slick finger over Jensen’s hole, continuing, “but you mean too damn much to me, for me to hurt you.”

He slowly, or at least it felt slow, worked Jensen open until he took three fingers. Jared watched as his cock head entered that tight pink ring, moaning as he was fully seated. He wasn’t going to last.

A few thrusts while he stripped Jensen’s dick and they both slipped over the edge. When his knees were steady enough, Jared stood up straight and moved his hands from where they now rested on either side of Jensen.

He longed to turn Jensen around and kiss him but he settled for the side of his neck. He leaned forward and whispered in Jensen’s ear, “Better hurry or you’ll be late.”

Leaving Jensen to get his bearings, Jared walked to his bedroom and slammed the door closed. His run would have to wait.  
Jared lay on his bed, his emotions warring between anger and joy. He was so damned angry that Jensen had slept with Danneel. Hell everyone in their group had teased Jensen about the way they danced around each other, so this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But it still hurt. He thought that Jensen’s feelings had been changing.

But, then again, Jensen was hard. For him. Not half way, but diamond cutter hard. He felt like shouting it from the rooftops. That had to mean something, right? 

If this thing with Danneel continued, he was sure he could find a way to get her out of the picture. He was going to have to get to know her better if he had to. Can’t fight blindly.

Fifteen minutes later, he heard Jensen leave. He yearned to be able to kiss him goodbye.

“Shit,” he cursed; he had forgotten to tell Jensen that he had gotten a call from the Maverick’s front office, his interview had been moved up. He would tell him tonight.

Chapter 7

Three days. Three days he’d spent buried in Danneel’s body. She was everything he thought she would be, smart funny and caring. Soft. Womanly. She was everything he should want, however, the problem was that somewhere between Jared exploring his body and spending his nights crying in shame, Jensen had started developing feelings for Jared. Being with Danneel had been Jensen’s way of fighting those feelings growing inside him. Danneel was him thumbing his nose at Jared, letting him know that he could fuck him all he wanted, but he was still a red-blooded American male. Straight. He was not gay and had never in his life lusted after another man…it’s just that, Jared.

The problem was that Jared had start making him want, well Jared, and Jensen did not know how to deal. He had chuckled over the years at Jared’s conquests, about who put what where, but never in a million years had he believed that he would be that person.

Jensen decided that it wasn’t fair to Danneel to put her in the middle of whatever this thing was between him and Jared. He shouldn’t have let things go this far with her, but she was his last hope at normalcy.

He thought about what he was doing, and wondered if it was it that much different from what he has accused Jared of? He was fighting so hard not to give into what he was now feeling for the man that he had involved Danneel, knowing that nothing was going to come of it, that he was not going to love her. Perhaps one day he could explain it to her without her hating him, so he swallowed what was left of his pride and he went home. Jensen was sitting on the sofa when Jared came home from a meet and greet and he didn’t get a chance to get up before Jared pinned Jensen down and fucked him into it.

~*Jared*~

Then something changed over the next two weeks. Something about Jensen changed. Their friendship was back, not to where it was before they’d had sex, but it was almost there. And then there was the sex. Sex that Jensen was participating in more. He didn’t initiate it but he wasn’t trying to avoid it either and Jared counted that as a win. 

It was just that Jensen was touching him, voluntarily. He still wouldn’t allow Jared to kiss him, but he was giving him these looks. And then there were these shy hesitant touches. Life wasn’t good, but it was better.

Jared didn’t know what was said to Danneel but Jensen had stopped volunteering at the animal shelter. His only complaint was that he missed seeing Harley and Sadie, the two puppies he had bonded with. 

While Jensen was at work, Jared decided to go look at the puppies Jensen was going on about. If they were as adorable as Jensen let on, then he was going to surprise him. The bump in the road of his plan was that Danneel was the person to handle the adoption.

Once he spent time with the dogs, he knew he was not going to leave them there. He could see why Jensen loved them so. He walked to the office and faced the woman.

“Hi Jared,” Danneel greeted him.

“Hi Danneel,” he said with a false smile.

Trying to exhale and relieve the tension in his body, Jared asked about adopting the dogs.

“Harley and Sadie,” she beamed. “Usually we don’t have trouble adopting out puppies but since they are going to be such large dogs no one wants them.”

“Jens does,” Jared stated simply as though that was all that mattered.

“He didn’t think that you’d want them in your house.”  
“It’s his home too.”  
“Good, good. I don’t think he thinks of it that way, but maybe this will convince him.”

While Jared completed the application, Danneel kept sneaking glances. “Is… we… he and I… is he coming back?” She finally got out.

“I’m not sure what his plans are,” he answered flatly, not giving away anything in his tone.

“Well, it’s just that we, or at least I thought we had something going and it was… nice. Then, out of the blue, he said that he might have feelings for someone else,’’ she confided.

“Danneel,” Jared started, excited by what the woman had just told him.

“Look,” she cut him off. “I know his situation, and I’m cool with that, but he is letting his pride get in the way. He is a good man Jared and I am willing to wait, so can you please help me get through to him?” She begged.

Jared was stunned. Could he be the one Jensen had feelings for? He liked Danneel, and had she been begging for help with anyone other than Jensen, he would have gladly assisted. But Jensen? Jensen was his.

Not caring if he hurt her feelings or not, Jared looked at her and said, “There is someone else but that is his story to tell.”  
He could see her body deflate and the fight leave her. She stood up and walked out the office, Jared quickly following as she found someone to help him load the dogs and supplies.

Jared was happy. Jensen had come straight home, no phantom errands to run and as a reward, he was greeted by his two new four legged friends. The smile Jared received made him forget to breathe. It was as though it was a special smile just for Jared. He vowed he would do whatever it took to have Jensen smile at him like that again.

“Thanks, man.” Jensen beamed. He walked up to Jared and hugged him. 

“I know how much you wanted them, and as soon as I saw them I knew why,” came Jared’s reply, his voice suspiciously husky as he leaned into the hug.

As a welcome home treat, the men allowed the dogs to settle on the sofa with them as they watched a movie. It didn’t take long for the whole group to fall asleep.

When they woke up a while later, Jensen was curled up with his head on Jared’s lap. Jared waited for the protests and outrage. Or even for Jensen to move. Instead, Jensen just yawned, stretched his legs out, and curled right back where he was. Jared couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.

~*Jensen*~

Jensen was leaving work smiling. He hadn’t felt this good, this stress-free in a long time. He didn’t want to admit it, but, if he was admitting to anything, he knew that it was because of Jared.

At first he’d stopped fighting the sex, because Goddamn it was good. Better than anything he had ever felt in his life. Even though he wouldn’t tell him, Jared was right, he did blow the top of his head off.

Eventually he’d stopped fighting Jared. That had seemed harder for some reason. Once he’d let go, he found he enjoyed the teasing touches, the soft smiles. He liked the need and the hunger in Jared’s eyes when he looked at him. If he were being honest, even though he hid it, his eyes reflected the same hunger and need.

If he didn’t know better he’d say that he was, well, falling in love. He dismissed that, however, because he wasn’t gay. Shaking his head he laughed to himself. ‘I wasn’t gay’ said the man who was rushing home to have a very large cock pound his ass.

Lost in thought, he didn’t hear his name called as he reached his car. He turned to see his friend Aldis walking towards him.

“Hey man, she must be smoking hot,” Aldis joked as he reached him.

“What are you talking about?” Jensen questioned, as he hugged the man in greeting.

“I’ve been calling you since you walked out the door. You had this goofy smile on your face, so it had to be a woman, so again she must be hot,” He kidded.

Blushing, Jensen just shrugged his shoulders and grinned, letting that be his answer. There was no way he was going to explain something he didn’t quite understand himself.

“I just wanted to know if you were ready for your interview tomorrow.”

“That’s not until next week,” he replied.

“No, man, they called back and changed the interview to tomorrow at 10am. They said they left the message with your roommate.”

“Yeah that’s right, I forgot,” Jensen nodded in agreement wondering what the hell was going on. “Just nervous I guess.”

“I gotta go man I have a hot date, good luck tomorrow. I know you’ll be a good fit.” Aldis nodded and left.

Jensen sat in his car confused. Why hadn’t Jared told him? The man knew how important this was to him. Was this his way of keeping him there? Making sure Jensen couldn’t get the money to move out? This worried him the entire drive home. He hoped his suspicions weren’t true; he was sure Jared had a good explanation for the oversight. Things were starting to get better, he didn’t want, wouldn’t, let anything disrupt the new balance between them. They would figure it out.

Chapter 8

When he let himself into the house, the babies, as Jared referred to them, greeted him at the door. He checked the area they were confined into until they were house broken for accidents. Finding none, he decided to let them out in the back yard.

Moving on to the fridge, he studied the contents thinking of possibilities for dinner and decided on steaks. That would give the dogs more time outside while he and Jared could relax. Could talk.

Jared came home and kept Jensen company while he gathered ingredients for the side dishes. It was normal conversation, something they hadn’t had in a while. Jensen was comfortable until Jared took his shirt off. He lost his train of thought and his mouth went dry. Jared was so fucking beautiful. How had he not seen that before? 

Over the years he had roomed with Jared, Jensen had been jealous of both the hard work and the results of the perfection that was Jared’s body.

Today, however, jealousy was not the emotion that burned through his veins when he stared at Jared’s bare torso, no that was just plain, good old-fashioned lust. He could admit it. Finally. At least to himself.

The hard on he was sporting in his suddenly too tight jeans wouldn’t let him pretend otherwise.

“I’m going to hit the shower,” Jared said, “it was so hot today and my clothes are sticking to me. I’m going to meet my brother and sister, to help choose an anniversary present for my parents, and later we are joining them for dinner to help them celebrate. So I’ll be late tonight.”

Jared didn’t stick around for Jensen’s response; he turned and headed to his room. Good thing too because “okay” was the only thing Jensen could get past his parched lips.

As he watched Jared walk away, it took everything he had not to follow, instead he stared at that perfect ass. He wanted to leave the spot he was rooted to, to join him in the shower. His overactive was mind providing him with pictures of Jared, wet and soaped up, body slick and beautiful from the combination of the two. It just occurred to him, that body was well, his. 

Jared was his; all he had to do was claim him.

He managed to force his feet to move as he raced towards the bedroom and paused for a second outside Jared’s door, his hand hesitating above the doorknob. He knew he would be welcome, but it would be rushed or Jared would miss the evening with his family. He didn’t want either of those things.

He wanted to be teased and tortured from the slowness of it. He wanted the love; the love that would be shared between the both of them. He wanted…“Nggh,” was the sound torn from his throat as he removed his hand and walked on to his room.

Reluctantly, he entered his room with the images of Jared in his head. He toed off his shoes and jumped on the bed where he hurriedly released the snap on his jeans and unzipped his fly. After a few quick tugs, it was Jared’s name that fell from his lips like a prayer when he came.

He lay there for a couple of minutes trying to collect his thoughts. He had to tell Jared, had to tell him what was going on in his head, in his heart. Had to let the man know what he was feeling, that he loved him. Yes, he loved Jared. That would have to wait until tonight when they had time.

He cleaned himself up and, on shaky legs, made his way back downstairs to the kitchen and ate a quickly prepared sandwich. Hopefully he could act normally until Jared left. Having changed after his shower into a white button down and what Jared considered his dress jeans, Jared walked in just as Jensen had settled himself at the table.

“Man, that looks good,” Jared said eyeing the sandwich. “I should keep you here for the food alone.” He quipped as he sat in the chair next to Jensen, blinding him with a grin. Jensen’s ears turned red from blushing. 

“Haven’t you already eaten?” Jensen asked, offering Jared a bite of the sandwich in his grasp.  
“I’m never satisfied,” he murmured before taking a generous bite, causing Jensen’s blush to deepen on his face and creep down his neck.

 

He sucked in a breath when Jared sucked a trace of mayo from his fingers. He closed his eyes and tried not to imagine those lips on his cock instead.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that Jared was wearing an evil, wicked, and lustful grin, but Jensen could only stare at the mayo that was now on the corner of Jared’s mouth. Before he changed his mind, he quickly moved forward and licked it away. He savored the flavor that was a mix of the mayo and Jared on his tongue. He went back for a second taste, this time it was all Jared as he worked his tongue into his mouth.

Pulling them both to their feet, Jared took over the kiss. He sucked at Jensen’s lower lip before he let their tongues meet in a duel. They both moaned as Jared thrust his hips into Jensen’s, cocks not quite aligning. Then suddenly Jared was pulling away.

“Man your timing is for shit!’’ Jared husked as he pulled away. “I gotta go. Now!” 

He tore himself away, then turned and literally ran out the door. Jensen was still in the same spot when he rushed back in for his keys and another deep kiss. Jensen wanted to slip his hand inside Jared’s jeans, and had moved to do so, but was stopped by two large hands.

“If you do that, I will not make it to my parents and they will not understand,” Jared groaned. “Please, I gotta go”  
Five minutes later, Jared was gone and Jensen was still rooted in the same spot and in the same condition as before. Hard. Hard and aching and Jared was gone.

Finally moving, Jensen went to the back door and called the dogs in. It was too hot to leave them outside. He got them settled, but found himself pacing. He needed to talk to someone, to sort out his feelings. The thing was that this was not something he could just confide to just anyone. He needed someone he could trust. He would have loved to have talked to Chris, but he knew that Chris would never forgive Jared and that was not what he wanted. Finally, he picked up the phone and dialed.

“Hi, mama.” He greeted, “I really need someone to talk to; can I come over?” 

A little over thirty minutes later, Jensen found himself at his parents’ new condo. He desperately needed someone to talk to, and he knew he could trust his mom. That was if she didn’t hate the fact that her strappingly straight son suddenly realized he liked men. Well a man. Just Jared. Would she turn him away? Oh god he hoped he was doing the right thing, because if not…well he wouldn’t think about that.

When he walked in, he found both of his parents. He had hoped that his mom would be the one to tell his dad so Jensen wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes when he found out. It would have been a chickenshit move, he knew, but it would have been easier. No such luck however. 

“Dad, I didn’t expect you to be here,” Jensen muttered.

“Your mom said you sounded upset, and you had her worried, so she called me,” Alan responded sympathetically. “What’s wrong son?” 

Rubbing his hand behind his neck, Jensen looked at his parents trying to figure out where to begin. He knew he couldn’t give this the full story, didn’t want them to think badly of Jared. He knew if he said it all, if they were still speaking to him, they would question every move Jared made from then on. He couldn’t have that.

If this was going to work between them, they had to have a fighting chance.

“Mama, dad, I’m in love. With Jared,” he spoke softly and waited for their reply.

The room was quiet as Donna and Alan looked at each other with confusion on their faces. It was Donna who broke the silence first.

“We know honey, we’ve known for a while now,” She confessed.

Now it was Jensen’s turn to be confused. Cheeks flushed with embarrassment, he asked, “When… How did… Huh?”  
“We figured that out shortly after you moved in with him,” she continued. “I mean he was always touching you, tracking your every move with his eyes. When you two are in a room together, he never let you out his sight. We just assumed that you just weren’t ready to tell us.”

Donna chuckled as she continued, “Even Mack knew, she was extremely jealous because your boyfriend was cuter than any she’d ever had.”

When she finished, she looked at her husband who was nodding in agreement.  
Alan added, “We were thinking maybe you were going to tell us that you guys were going to have a commitment ceremony or go to New York and get married.”

“I just figured this out,” Jensen exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. “I had no clue. We were just friends!”

“You may have just figured this out, but trust us, Jared already knew what he wanted.” Donna noted.

“Does this mean you don’t hate me?” His eyes pleaded for approval from his parents.

“Jensen Ross Ackles,” his dad’s voice boomed, “how you dare insult us, by thinking that we are so narrow minded. We have spent over two years thinking you were gay, at what point did we show hatred to you or Jared? Why would you think we would stop loving you?”

Hearing the hurt and disappointment in his father’s voice, Jensen hung his head in shame.  
He explained, “You have never treated me differently, it’s just, just that I have heard stories, and then there’s the church.”  
“Our church teaches us to love and our bible tells us not to judge. Those are the rules we live by,” Donna explained.

“How could you think that we would stop loving you? We have spent twenty five years nurturing and loving you,” Donna continued. “Trust me no matter who you love, you’re still our child.”

“Remember that!” His father voiced his agreement.

Jensen stood, prompting his parents to do the same. He grabbed them both in a warm hug that said more than any words he could voice. He was a lucky man.

A thought occurred to him as he pulled out of his familial embrace. He looked back and forth between his parents and asked, “If Mack knows about Jared and I, does Josh know?

“I’m afraid so,” his father laughed at the expression of horror on his face.

“Why am I the last one to get a clue?”

“We can’t help it if you can’t see what’s right in front of you, honey.” His mother responded, trying to hold her laughter in.

“Now that you know that that gorgeous man is in love with you, and apparently, you with him, what are you going to do about it?” His mother challenged.

“Tell Jared,” He smiled and then he said more forcefully, “Tell Jared!”

Jensen left his parents’ house with more hugs and smiles. He wondered if all of his friends thought that he and Jared were together. He did however, know of one friend, or at least he hoped she was still a friend, who didn’t. With that in mind, he headed towards the animal shelter and Danneel.

Chapter 9

Danneel was in her office working when he found her. Standing in the doorway looking at her, before she realized he was there, gave Jensen a chance to study her. She was beautiful, smart, and funny. She could have worked anywhere with her Harvard MBA, but she chose to run an animal shelter. He knew she would have been a good fit with his family. Moreover, had there been no Jared, he would have been crazy stupid in love with her. Unfortunately for her, there was a Jared and he had hurt her. Now he had to see if he could salvage their friendship.

“Hi Danni,” he greeted her cautiously, “How are you?”

“Jensen,” she answered in surprise. “I didn’t think I would be seeing you around here any time soon.”  
He wasn’t surprised by the hurt he heard in her voice.

“You got a minute to talk?” He asked, walking into the room and sitting in the chair facing her.

“This about us or the shelter?” She asked tentatively. 

“Us?”

“Oh hell, then why didn’t you bring me a beer? Somehow I think we’re going to need it, or something stronger,’’ she said only half joking.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen rushed, trying to get his words out before she shut him down. “I was trying to deny feelings I had for… someone else and you got caught in the crossfire.”

Cocking her head, she looked across her desk at him and fired off, “Why did you have to use me to figure it out. Was I supposed to make her jealous?”

“Jealous, no never that. It’s not a… That’s not what happened.”

Cutting him off, she jumped on his statement. “It’s not a what, Jensen?” Suddenly her face dropped.  
“Oh. Oh my God. It’s Jared,” she exclaimed covering her mouth with her hands.

Well that answered his previous question; she hadn’t known.

“That’s why he was so cold and short with me.’’

“I just want to apologize; you must know it was never my intention to hurt you. I don’t want you to think it was,” Jensen stopped because that’s exactly what he had done. He’d used her to fight what was happening between him and Jared.

“Then what were you doing?’’ She asked as though she read his mind. “You flirted with me, you, you led me on and then when I gave in, you suddenly discovered you were gay?”

He understood her anger, he really did, but he still had to make her understand where his mind was. He had been head over heels for her; he really had, but then, Jared had happened.

How could he explain it to her without giving Jared away? Hell he’d had problems with it himself and had thought Jared to be a horrible person. He now knows it was desperation on Jared’s part. He had fought so hard against it, but now, now he was glad that he was wanted so much and Jared had forced the issue.

“Danni, there’s nothing I can say to excuse what I did, but please, just know that at one point I did want a relationship with you, sought it out.” Jensen tried to explain, “This thing with Jared? Well it kinda blindsided me like you wouldn’t believe and I didn’t handle it very well.”

Pinning him down with a glare she demanded, “When did you realize you were gay? Did you know before you started flirting with me? Before you slept with me?”

“That’s the thing Danneel. I’m not… I don’t like… I’m not attracted to other men. Just… Jared.” Jensen confessed. “This happened just recently, and it happened so damn fast, I’m only just beginning to process it, trying to make sense of it all.”  
Gathering his thoughts to make her understand, he continued, “I know this doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“You love him, don’t you?’’

“So goddamned much,” he admitted. “I haven’t even told him yet.”

“Well then tell him Jensen,” She encouraged as she reached across the desk to grab his hands and squeezed, “Tell. Him. If it were me I’d want to know.”

“Like I said, I’m just coming to terms with this myself. How to tell the rest of my family, my friends. I don’t know who’s going to stick around.”

“I’ll admit, I’m jealous as hell, but I’m still going to be your friend Jensen. You’ve got great friends and a wonderful family, so give them some credit. If they have a problem, then fuck ‘em!” Danneel spoke with a grin;, she didn’t look pleased but at least she wasn’t pissed. 

“Thank you Danni for listening, and well for everything.”  
He stood up and walked to the door to leave. He stopped and turned around, “How about we do lunch sometime? Can we do that?”

“Yes,” she agreed nodding her head. “Give me some time, but yeah, we can do that.”  
~*~

When Jensen finally made it home, he was drained and he felt like he’d put in a full day’s work yet he still had to face  
Jared. That was going to be the hardest part, mainly because he wasn’t sure how the man would respond. Everything could still blow up in his face.  
What if Jensen was reading into it wrong and Jared just wanted him for sex all along? Did Jared really love him? What if he was just being played so he would end up wanting Jared but getting nothing in return? And what about the interview message that was so easily not passed along? Was Jared trying to sabotage him?

Trying to ease his mind, Jensen went to the den with Sadie and Harley; they would provide adequate distraction until Jared came home. He cuddled with them on the sofa even though they were being taught to stay off the furniture. Jensen was the one who would usually give in and let them up. Like now. 

He drifted off to sleep somewhere during hour two of the ‘Top 100 Greatest Car Crashes’ because his ringing phone woke him up. When he saw it was Jared, he hurried to answer it.

“Hey Jared,” he greeted, “y’all having a good time?”

“Yeah, we are,” he answered, “listen, I’ve had a little too much to drink and you know mama, she took my keys.”  
“Oh,” was all Jensen could say in response, hurt clearly present in his tone.

Jared went on, “I’m not even drunk, but she’s worried and being all mother hen, so I told her I’d stay here. We have some family here I haven’t seen in a while so it’ll give me time to catch up.”

Jensen didn’t respond. “I’ll be home tomorrow after lunch. I won’t eat here, that way we can grab something together,” Jared offered.  
“I won’t be here,’’ he said, keeping his tone neutral and choosing his words carefully. “My interview is tomorrow at ten. Remember? You took the message.”

“Shit Jens, I forgot,’’ lowering his voice, he continued, “that was when you were gone those few days with Danneel, and didn’t come home, and well we… I’m sorry it slipped my mind. M’sorry Jens, so sorry I forgot.”

Jensen took in Jared’s excuse. He had been gone for three days and it wasn’t like Jensen was speaking to Jared at the time.

“Please Jensen!” Jared begged when Jensen took the long pause. “You’ve got to believe me, I just forgot. Please don’t be mad at me. We’ve just gotten to a good place. Please.”

Jensen could hear the truth of the statement in the man’s voice, “It’s okay, Jared, I believe you.”  
“I know how much this means to you. It’s your fucking dream job,” he explained desperately, “I wouldn’t jeopardize that for you. I promise!”

Before Jensen could respond, Jared begged again, “Please tell me you believe me. Please!”  
“I do, baby, I do,” Jensen confirmed in a low soft tone not even realizing he had used the endearment. He just wanted to ease Jared’s guilt, to make him understand that he believed him.

“Fuck!” he spat, “everyone has lousy timing today! I’m being called for gift opening.’’  
Jensen laughed in his ear. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow after your interview Jens,” Jared promised and ended the call.

~*Jared*~

Jared walked back with his brother, smiling. Jensen felt something for him. He had called him baby. And earlier, Jensen kissed him. He really kissed him, with tongue and passion. Jensen broke his number one rule and kissed Jared first. That kiss meant more to him than the sex. And the endearment, well, that made him smile because he didn’t think that Jensen even realized he’d said it. 

Jared did. The only way this day could get any better was if he was buried balls deep inside Jensen.  
This was going to be a long night. He loved his family, he did, but he wanted nothing more than to be with Jensen, to kiss him, to love him all night long and sleep in in the morning. Since Jensen had the interview tomorrow, perhaps it was a good thing Jared wasn’t be there. Neither of them would have slept tonight.  
~*~

The next day started out just as well, better than Jared dared hoped. His heart damn near jumped out of his chest, when he saw Jensen calling him first thing. 

“Good morning Jared,” Jensen greeted sleepily.  
Jared’s breath hitched at the way Jensen’s sleep colored voice washed over him, making him wish he had been there to kiss the man awake, to feel his body relaxed and warm from sleep. 

“Good morning to you sleepyhead, I was gonna call you to make sure you didn’t sleep in.”

“M’wake, set my alarm and everything.”

“Barely,” Jared chuckled, “you had coffee yet?” 

“On my first cup.’’ Jensen hesitated then continued, “I’m nervous. Aldis said that he thinks I’m going to get this but what if I don’t?”

“Stop doubting yourself, you’re good at what you do and you have the experience.” He encouraged. “Walk in there and exude confidence, and that job is yours.”

“Thanks Jare, I needed that.” Jensen said the smile heard over the phone. “ I’ll talk to you later.” 

After his conversation with Jensen, Jared spent the morning with a stupid smile on his face. Everyone thought it was because of his family or his parents’ anniversary and he just let them. He knew that it was green eyes, freckles and a smile that was meant for him alone that brought him such happiness. It was Jensen. 

Jeff had been giving him funny looks all last night and this morning, so while they sat on the couch alone, he finally asked “Jensen?”

Jared gave him a goofy grin and nodded yes. “It’s about time,” Jeff said and patted him on the back.  
Everyone had just finished a late breakfast and soon were saying their good-byes. Jared checked his watch as he hugged his cousin Gilly goodbye and noticed it was close to the time for Jensen’s interview. Before it was too late, he pulled out his phone and texted Jensen a “good luck” for encouragement.

“Thanks!” Came the response a minute later.

“Remember to meet me for a late lunch so we can celebrate :)”

“I haven’t even had the interview yet.”  
“I have faith in you, that job is yours! :D”

“Okay, we’ll meet at that steak place you love so much around 12. Have a beer ready for me. Gotta go.”

Chapter 10

While he was shopping for his parents’ anniversary gift, Jared had spotted the perfect sports watch and purchased it for Jensen. It was super expensive but it was a gift of congratulations for Jensen. He had no doubt that Jensen would get the position. 

Jared arrived at the restaurant before Jensen to grab a booth. He had the beer Jensen requested waiting when the man entered the restaurant; the watch would be there if he got the position.

There was no need to ask how the interview went. The smile on Jensen’s face, the way he bounced happily while looking for their table told Jared everything he needed to know. He placed the box on the table next to the beer and waited.

Jared wanted to kiss that smile. He had never been hesitant about PDA within reason, but he had to tread carefully here, but God, that smile. He was just getting used to it being directed at him and it made his day to see Jensen so happy in his presence. 

He watched as Jensen walked towards the table. The man looked so goddamned fuckable, dressed in the suit from his interview. His hair was tamed and styled instead of the spikes he normally wore. Others in the restaurant noticed Jensen as well, both men and women. He wanted the right to say ‘That this man is mine so stop eye fucking him.’ In the end it didn’t really matter, Jensen was only looking at him.

Before he even sat down Jensen blurted, “I got it man, I got it!”

Smiling, Jared slid the beer towards Jensen and responded, “I told that you would. Why did you doubt it?”

Taking a sip of the cool liquid, Jensen ducked his head slightly and mumbled, “This really hasn’t been a good year for me Jared.” He brought his head up proudly, “But this is a step in the right direction.”

Hoping he wasn’t part of the bad year, Jared raised his glass in celebration and smiled, “Now tell me everything!”  
“By ten fifteen they had offered me the job; said that Aldis spoke so highly of me it was an easy decision,” Jensen beamed then looked around the area, “Hey, where’s the waitress, I’m starving. I spent the rest of the time touring the facility and filling out paperwork.”

“I already ordered. To help you celebrate, you are getting a Porterhouse with all the trimmings and this,” Jared smiled as he pushed the box across the table.

“A man after my own heart!” Jensen exclaimed, his mouth salivating. 

Opening the box, Jensen looked stunned, “I love it Jared.” He took the watch out of the box and replaced his own with it. “Now every time we whip your beloved Spurs, I know that you are a part of us too.” 

Jensen took a sip of his beer and began telling Jared about his day. He swore Jensen almost jizzed in his pants when he mentioned meeting Rick Carlisle and Jason Terry.

“Did you go all fangirl over them?” Jared laughed.

“Fuck no, I have more pride than that. It was most definitely fanboy,” Jensen laughed along with Jared.

They lingered over lunch, simply enjoying each other’s company again, no sexual tension hovering over them for the first time in a long time. Jared did not want to move; he was full and he loved the sound of Jensen’s voice. But the biggest reason was because Jensen had moved closer over lunch and was now absently rubbing his hand over Jared’s thigh and it felt so fucking good. He knew that if he moved or called attention to it, Jensen would stop, so he just enjoyed it.  
They stayed there talking until the waiter glared at them, telling them without words that it was time to go and let someone else have the table. The glare was gone when he noticed the huge tip Jared left.

As they walk to their cars that were parked close to each other, Jensen tittered on about the facilities and his new job duties. Watching Jensen go on, Jared decided to take a chance and leaned in to kiss Jensen. He’d only intended for it to be a light peck on the lips, but then the road to hell…

~*Jensen*~

Jensen couldn’t believe what was happening. He was standing in broad daylight. In the parking lot of a busy restaurant under the blazing Texas sun, kissing a man. When he saw Jared lean in for the kiss, he knew that that they should try to keep it light, that Jared was going to let Jensen take the lead, but the thing was when Jared’s lips touched his, he wanted more. So he took it and Jared gave it willingly.

When his tongue licked along the seam of Jared’s lips, without breaking the kiss, the taller man moved them to the side of the building out of sight and took over. This kiss was telling. Let Jensen know that Jared felt all the things he said he did. It told him that Jared loved him. That Jared desired him, and were they not in public, he would be fucked to within an inch of his life.

A disgruntled noise came from Jared when he ran his hands over Jensen. It seemed he was unable to get around Jensen’s suit. Jensen, on the other hand, fared much better. He had his hands under Jared’s t-shirt and was reveling in the hard muscle. His hands slowly moved up until they reached the other man’s nipples and he began to tug and twist, working them until they were hard. When he swallowed the moan Jared let out, he tugged harder.

They finally broke apart, gasping.

“Jared wait,” Jensen begged, still gasping for breath, “I, we can’t.”

“Please tell me you want this, that you want me,” Jared begged. “Please don’t…” he sounded defeated. Jared’s face showed his fear of being rejected after thinking all of his dreams had come true.

Reaching up to push Jared’s hair out of his eyes, Jensen soothed the big man, “Didn’t it feel like I wanted you? Baby, I just don’t want to do this here, I don’t want be arrested for what I’m sure we were about to do.”

“I just…” Jensen quieted Jared with fingers to his mouth. 

“It’s okay.” Jensen said calmly, “It’s just that I have to go tender my resignation so it will be effective today, then go by my parents and I run a couple of other errands. If I go home with you right now…” he shook his head. “We won’t come out for days” left unsaid. 

“That’s fine Jens,” Jared replied taking a deep calming breath. “I have some things I need to do too, so um later? At home?” He asked then leaned in for one more kiss.

Jensen walked to his car on shaky legs and sat there fighting to bring his body under control. His dick was hard against his suit pants and he tried to will it to soften. The problem was that he kept remembering the feel of Jared’s mouth on his, the feel of their tongues battling with each other, the feel, man, the feel of Jared’s skin under his hands and the sounds he made. When he finally pulled out of the parking lot, he realized that Jared was leaving at the same time. He laughed to himself thinking that he wasn’t the only one who needed a minute to compose himself. The thought that he could do that to the other man made him smile.

Jensen made it to his job and came out with a check for two weeks’ severance. They didn’t want him possibly stealing any of their clients. Apparently, they didn’t quite get where he was going, but that was okay. 

He really wanted to share the news with his parents as he had planned to, but the thought of getting Jared naked had him turning his car towards home. When he got there, he saw Jared’s car already parked. 

Making his way inside, he heard Jared working in his office, so he walked towards the door to let Jared know he was home. 

“Jens, this was waiting for me when I got home,” he pointed to the drawings on his desk, “my publisher is demanding that I redo some pages and I have to send them overnight by first thing tomorrow morning to meet the publishing deadline.”  
Trying not to let his disappointment show, Jensen responded, “It’s okay man, I understand.”

When Jensen looked in a couple of hours later, the tension between Jared’s shoulders was clearly visible. He would bring him a beer, to help relax, but no food or drink was allowed around his work. Jensen thought to give Jared a massage, but the distraction would… Well he knew that would be a bad idea. 

Jensen gave up waiting for Jared when two hours turned into four, so he retreated to Jared’s room. He knew that it was work, so he wasn’t mad, just disappointed. As he lay on the huge bed, he pictured how this evening could have gone and this was not it. Slowly he drifted off to sleep thinking about this afternoon outside the restaurant and the promises that Jared’s kisses had held. Sometimes real life was a bitch.

Chapter 11

Jared could not believe how tired he was when he finally made his way up the stairs. He had expected to be tired, by the end of tonight, but for an entirely different reason.

Jensen had to be asleep by now, but even if it meant just sleeping beside the other man, he was going to be with him tonight. He quietly opened Jensen’s door, trying not to wake him, but he needn’t have bothered because Jensen was not there. 

“Fuck!” He whispered under his breath. He hadn’t even heard the man leave. 

He was angry, angry with himself because it took him so long to redo the drawings and angry with Jensen for not being patient. Closing the door with less care than he’d opened it, Jared made his way to his bedroom and got the shock of his life. Jensen was naked and sleeping in his bed.

The lamp on the nightstand was on and illuminated Jensen’s face. Jared just stood there and stared. Sometimes he thought that Jensen’s beauty was a figment of his over active imagination, but moments like this proved him wrong. He took in the square jaw line, the plush lips and those goddamned girly eyelashes. He moved down his long lithe body appreciating the work Jensen had put into that body. He has amazing pecs and well defined abs. The sheet covered most of his lower body, but he could appreciate how gorgeous the man was and more importantly, that he was his. 

Jared quickly undressed and slipped into the bed, curling his big body around a sleeping Jensen. Just as he got his body calmed and his breathing under control, Jensen spoke.

“Took you long enough.”

“I didn’t think it would take this long,” Jensen turned to face Jared as he spoke, “and I was really frustrated at having the publisher question the direction of something I created.”

Jared sighed heavily, “I went to your room and you were gone. I thought you’d left. There aren’t words to express how happy I was to find you here. In my bed. Naked,” he grinned.

When Jensen did not respond, Jared whispered with a hitch in his voice, “without me forcing you to be.”

Jensen spoke tentatively, “We can’t pretend that I came to you of my own accord at first. There is just no way around that. However, tonight, I did, I am. The rest? We can talk about tomorrow. Agreed?”

Thankful for the reprieve, Jared nodded, “Agreed.” Then he leaned in for a kiss.  
“God Jens, tell me you want this now. That you want us.”

“So much Jared, but…” Jensen’s voice suddenly became small.

“But what?” Jared interrupted.

“I don’t know what to do, how to show you.” He leaned forward and tucked his head in Jared’s neck to hide the blush on his cheeks. “It was all you before, and I wanna make you feel like you made me feel.”

“Stop thinking so much” Jared gently scolded, “You know what you like and our bodies are the same so just touch me Jensen and you’ll figure it out.”

Jared gently extracted Jensen from him and positioned himself to sit against the headboard. “I’m all yours.”

~*Jensen*~

Slowly, Jensen leaned in to kiss Jared. He liked kissing, hell he was good at it and if this afternoon was anything to go by, so was Jared. 

He was frustrated that he couldn’t get the angle he wanted so he lifted himself up and straddled Jared’s hips. The position aligned both their lips and cocks causing Jensen to start thrusting his hips forward. The friction made both men groan with pleasure.

Jensen reluctantly released Jared’s mouth to explore his body. He kissed his way from Jared’s mouth to lick the shell of his ear and that sensitive spot right under it, loving the salty taste that was all Jared. He worked his way down to where Jared’s neck and shoulder met, and bit down. When Jared whined a little, he soothed it with his tongue.

“Now everyone will know you’re mine,” he growled possessively.

“Always been yours Jens, always. It just took you longer to realize it.”

Jensen continued his exploration of his lover’s body, sucking his nipple hungrily. He chuckled as he felt Jared start to writhe under his ministrations, so he lingered giving equal attention to both. 

He then started to kiss his way down Jared’s stomach until he reached his goal. Reaching down to pull him back up, Jared murmured, “Jens, you don’t have to, it’s alright.”

Resisting Jared’s attempt to pull him back up, Jensen flicked his tongue out to taste the underside of his prize and replied, “Yea Jare I do. I want to know how you taste. I want to know how you feel in my mouth. But most importantly, I want to know how to please you.”

Jared could only moan in response because Jensen took the head of Jared’s cock in his mouth and began to suck his way down. Jensen knew Jared was big, knew it from when the man split him in half with it, so he knew there was no way he could take the entire length, but he could try. What he couldn’t get in his mouth, he used his hand. Thankfully, the porn videos showed so many blowjobs, because he wouldn’t really know what to do otherwise. The way Jared was whimpering and moaning though, he must have been doing something right so he continued.

Jensen spit Jared’s cock out until all he had was the head in his mouth to work the underside when Jared protested loudly, “Teeth Jensen, teeth!”

Removing it from his mouth, embarrassed, he mumbled, “Sorry, so sorry!” 

Jensen discovered that he loved the feel and the taste of Jared’s huge cock sliding in and out of his mouth. He never in his life thought that he would on his knees in front of another man trying desperately to shove a cock down his throat, but he did not want to be anywhere else. 

Jensen let Jared’s cock slip from his mouth and took a firm hold with his hand. Guiding it back to his mouth, he let his tongue delve into the slit and tasted the pre-come gathered there, letting the flavor marinate on his tongue. It was salty and slightly bitter, but not as bad as he had been led to believe. It was pure Jared.

Once his tongue started working that slit, the moan he elicited from Jared went straight to his own cock causing him to respond with an answering moan of his own. 

Remembering to cover his teeth, Jensen slowly worked as much of Jared’s cock back in his mouth as he could, but that moan of Jared’s had him smiling as much as he could with a mouth full of cock so he hummed in response.  
Suddenly he felt Jared’s hands gripping his head and bucking up, trying to bury himself down Jensen’s throat.

“Oh god Jens, your mouth is…. Perfect…just….god.”

The hands that were holding him in place suddenly started pulling him upwards and away from Jared.

“What?” Jensen asked in confusion, “was I still doing it wrong?”

“No, god no, you never did it wrong. I just don’t want to come from only your mouth. I want to come buried in you and have you come from me being buried in you. You… you want that don’t you?”

“Please,” Jensen whimpered in response. His body trembled remembering the feel of Jared’s pulsing cock pumping in and out of him. 

Jensen relaxed and let Jared take over, because he was starting to feel like a virgin all over again, not sure where to touch. Not sure what was too much and what was not enough. The only thing he was sure of was that teeth were bad and Jared knew what the fuck he was doing.

“I need you on your back babe, I want to see you,” Jared said pulling Jensen off his lap.  
Jensen let Jared maneuver him onto his back, shivering at the feel of skin on skin as he was being positioned and his legs spread to give his lover room.

~*Jared*~

Jared took a moment to look at the man spread out before him. This was the Jensen he had wanted, not the one always so embarrassed and ashamed.

He took in the half closed eyes and dilated pupils, the plump lips red and wet with spit and just a little of Jared’s precome. The legs that were spread and hips canted enough that Jared could see that beautiful pink hole. His. Jensen looked debauched and absolutely beautiful like this.

The most beautiful thing about it was that he was the only one to have felt its tight heat, to feel it milking come from his body.

“Need to open you up Jens,” Jared grabbed the lube and, after he slicked his fingers, he leaned forward to slowly ease a finger into Jensen. He was mesmerized as Jensen’s body sucked it in as though it was welcoming it home. When he pulled the finger out to add a second, Jensen whimpered at the momentary loss of fullness, but soon was trying to fuck down on Jared’s hand when two fingers were pushed into him.

“Easy baby, we’ll get there” Jared crooned as he added a third finger. “I can’t believe that you are letting me do this, letting me love you.”

“Yours now Jare, just…. please need you in me. Now!” He begged.

Removing his fingers, Jared slipped on a condom then lined himself up to Jensen’s entrance and thrust forward until he was fully seated. It felt so good he felt like crying.

“Need to move Jens.”  
“Then move,” he whimpered in answer, “please, please move.”

Who was he to deny Jensen anything? So he started pumping into him. Strong deep thrusts that had the man under him writhing and moaning like a porn star, and each time he hit Jensen’s prostate, the moans got louder.

Jared leaned forward and swallowed those sweet sounds pulled from his lover. The move trapped Jensen’s cock between them.

“God Jared,” Jensen groaned between kisses. “I’m gonna… you’re gonna make… fuck me,” and with that, Jensen came on both their stomachs. The clenching of Jensen’s already tight hole had Jared following right behind him. Both men lay there for a while catching their breath. 

Realizing how heavy he must be, Jared slowly eased himself out of Jensen, removed the condom and went to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean them. 

When he reentered the room he huffed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, at the sight of Jensen still in his bed. He didn’t go to his room and cry this time. And the fact that Jensen was there almost had Jared in tears.

He stood by the bed a second and took in the beauty of a fucked out Jensen before getting in beside him and cleaning him up. Placing the washcloth on the bedside table he gathered up his sleeping lover, tucked him into his side, pulled the covers up and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter 11

When Jared woke the next morning, he rolled over to give Jensen a kiss but Jensen’s side of the bed was empty. He sat up and pushed the hair from his eyes, trying not to panic. Did Jensen freak out sometime during the night? Oh god, did he change his mind? Before he could go into a full-fledged panic, the door to the bedroom opened and the most wonderful smell entered followed by a smiling Jensen.

He was carrying a tray laden with a full breakfast including coffee.

“Hey,” Jared said softly.  
Sitting up straighter against the headboard, Jared reached for the tray so Jensen could climb back onto the bed. Even as Jensen settled in, he still did not look at Jared.

“We okay Jensen?”  
Blushing, he looked up at Jared, “More than that.”

“Then why so shy?”

“I sucked your dick,” the blush deepening.

Picking up a piece of bacon from the tray, he fed it to Jensen and proclaimed seductively, “And you deserve a reward.”  
Jensen ate the bacon making Jared growl when those plush lips sucked the grease from his fingers. 

“You’re still blushing,” Jared commented after feeding Jensen eggs. Jared bypassed the fork in favor of using his fingers. He loved the look and feel of Jensen’s lips on them.

“How can you still blush after last night?” He teased.

“Did I…..was last night….wasitwasIgood?” Jensen said hurriedly, again ducking his head in embarrassment.  
Jared grabbed Jensen’s jaw and gently forced his head up to look into his eyes, “I’ve been waiting years, years Jensen, for what you gave me last night. I have loved you and wanted you forever and to finally get lucky, no fucking blessed, enough for you to want me in return. There just aren’t words to describe how good you were last night.”

“I know we have done this before,” Jensen began, “but last night I came to you on my own. I felt like… like it was my first time, like, I don’t know, I was loved.”

“You are loved Jensen, so goddamned much. I’m just glad that you were able to see how much I care about you.” 

“I really did not know that you felt that way about me, but you could have, should have found a better way to tell me.”  
Jared thought about the whole situation. “If I had told you two years ago that I was in love with you, you would have turned me down. This was the only way I could make you understand.”

Jensen looked at him contemplatively, “We lucked out. We have this incredible thing between us, but if you do something like that again, I’m gone Jared. Understand that.”

Jared could only respond by nodding his head, because he knew that if he spoke the tears he was trying to hold in check would spill down his face. He had come to terms with the fact that after seven weeks, he could have lost Jensen forever, but this, this was a gift. He vowed to himself that he would never again cause Jensen pain.

“But,” Jensen spoke up, “All that matters now is that I love you, Jared.”

“Jensen?” Jared squeaked out, the tears spilling over. 

“I. Love. You.” Jensen repeated. “I shouldn’t, but I do. You made me fall for you.”  
Mindful of the food, Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen soft and sweet, tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “Do you Jens? Really?”

Chuckling in response Jensen answered, “Enough to tell my parents.”  
“You told your parents?” Jared echoed not quite believing what he was hearing.

“And Danneel.”

“Good, maybe now she will stay away from you!”

“Jealous much?”  
“Fuck yeah I was.”

“There is no need for you to be jealous Jared when I was with her I only thought about you,” Jensen promised, his body shivering at the onslaught of kisses Jared was planting along his jaw.

Jensen pulled away quickly, “I got up early and used all of those fancy machines you bought me to cook you breakfast, so eat bitch!”  
~*~

Jared was happy. He sat on his, no, their deck surrounded by family where he could openly show his love for Jensen and know that it was returned. He could touch, kiss, tease, and share looks meant only for the two of them and it felt wonderful.

Jensen was still a little nervous and scared that someone was going to say something negative, but, so far, it had been great. Their friends knew but they hadn’t had a chance to see them as a couple; but that would happen next week when Chris and Steve got back into town.

Today, all Jared had to worry about was how long he could watch Jensen in the pool before he pounced on him.  
Yeah, life was good.

 

The End

 

 

 


End file.
